Monday, June 4, 2012
Putting Up With Pleiades
Okay. It's Monday, and time for the first installment of "Meeting With My Muse." I tracked down my muse once before, so some of you have met her once. Perhaps having a weekly meeting with the irreverent Pleiades is a bad idea, but I have to reign in my creative energies somehow.
Before I hunt down Pleiades, I'd like to take a quick look at the past month. When May began, I made a promise to myself to increase my readership and put some real effort into my blog. As of May 1st, I had 15 followers and the most page views I had in a single month before that was 140. By the end of May, I had 75 followers and 1,015 page views for the month. I'm pleased with that.
Now to the task at hand.
Me: Pleiades! Where are you? (Pause, cup hand to ear to listen for her.) Dang it Pleiades! I thought we agreed to meet. You're late!
Me: All right. Now you've asked for it. I'm going to purposely write something AWFUL! Then I'm going to post it here and blame you for it! Everyone will think you're the worst muse in the world!
Pleiades: (Peeks her head out from behind the couch, and stretching her arms above her head, she yawns.) Jeez, you need to learn to relax. How am I supposed to work my magic if I'm not well rested?
Me: I know you need your rest, but you also knew when we were supposed to meet.
Pleiades: Are you sure we can't reschedule for tomorrow? If you let me, I promise I'll be on time.
Me: No, absolutely not! I have a lot I want to get done this week, and that means I can't be waiting around for inspiration. I need you to help me find it. That's your job, isn't it?
Pleiades: (Shrugs.) Yes it is, but no matter what job you have, you still get days off. (Taps her chin in thought.) Actually, I think I'll call in sick today.
Me: You're not sick!
Pleiades: (Looks offended, puts hand over heart to add to her aghast expression.) How would you know? You're not a doctor!
Me: (Sarcasm dripping from every word.) You know, for a muse, you're not very creative with your excuses. Is that part of your illness? Have you lost your musing abilities?
Pleiades: (Sickeningly innocent voice.) Now you can't hold my illness against me. That would be wrong. I can't help what's happened to me.
Me: (Crossing arms in front of chest and rolling eyes.) Fine. Go see a doctor and bring me a note. Then we'll talk.
Pleiades: (Thinking it over.) All right, fair enough. Now, my doctor is in Tahiti, and she has a long waiting list. I'll update you on my condition next week. (Evaporates.)
Me: (Going quickly from mild annoyance to intense anger in seconds). Well, she did inspire me to do one thing. I'm going to kick her butt next week!