Five Sentence Fiction, made possible by Lillie McFerrin, challenges you to pack a big narrative punch into a few sentences. Are you up to the challenge? This week's prompt is EMPTY.
If you haven't read previous installments in the "Unchained" story, you can read it from the beginning on this PAGE.
Unchained
Chapter
21: Emptiness
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| Image courtesy of Victor Habbick / FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
Ylana’s stomach twisted as she sat beside Nara on the beach,
the moonless night bathing them in utter darkness. Having cast the purple stone into the
turbulent ocean, Ylana knew she’d never see it again, but the action satisfied Myrandia,
the woman who might have otherwise killed them.
Unfortunately, casting the stone into the water also meant
casting away her best hope for helping her people, leaving her with a nagging
feeling of emptiness at her core.
“We’ll figure out another way,” Nara said softly, her voice carrying
ever so slightly on the gentle breeze. “If
there’s anything life has taught me, you can get through any setback life
throws at you if you don’t give up, and once we fulfill our promise to Myrandia,
we’ll get back to fulfilling my promise to you.”
Go to Whispers in the Night
Go to Whispers in the Night
I love the line 'the moonless night bathing them in utter darkness' - you would normally expect it to be moonlight. There's a sense of gentleness about this that makes you feel that everything will be ok in the end.
ReplyDeleteLove the imagery you created in only 5 sentences. Makes me hope everything turns out ok for them. (:
ReplyDeleteThat's good advice about life setbacks. I might have to take that one to heart!
ReplyDeleteLoved the imagery and how much you've packed into these five sentences. Great writing!
ReplyDeleteYour use of imagery is brilliant
ReplyDeleteWith the (lovely) image, and the choice of names used, there's a real 'otherworldly' feel to this which I really dug. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteGreat wording here. It's a very unique story.
ReplyDeleteI loved the contrast image you started off with, as we never really consider darkness bathing something, at night it would usually have been the moon. Well done
ReplyDeleteI got lured so very easily into this world you've created, only to find it's filled with intrigue. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to read more. Very intriguing piece.
ReplyDeleteThere were some good lessons in just five sentences, sometimes we have to deal with the issue at hand, but we never should lose sight of our goals, we can find a way if we believe! Very nice writing in this chapter!
ReplyDeleteI love the sincere determination in that last sentence!!
ReplyDeleteOoo...a very big promise that strains against the weight of waiting and setback - would love to know more!
ReplyDelete