How to Deal With a Breakup

The prompt words I'm using today came from Little Gothic Horrors.  Those words are cheesecake and tripped.

For some reason, the word cheesecake put me immediately in mind of trying to nurse post-breakup wounds.  It's been a long time since I've had to recover from a breakup, but I do remember that cheesecake helps.

How to Deal With a Breakup

We all have those moments when we’re worn down and vulnerable, and those moments often end with us feeling humiliated by something we did while we were at our worst.  No one needs to deal with humiliation while nursing serious emotional wounds, so here is a little helpful advice.

Rule 1: Have a reliable friend come over to your house.  Tell that friend to keep you away from the phone at all costs.  You don’t want to make a fool of yourself.

Rule 2: Make sure you have a bottle of wine on hand.  Any alcohol will do, but at least with wine, the added sense of sophistication will help you feel somewhat better about yourself.

Rule 3: Don’t forget about desert.  Foods such as ice cream, cheesecake, and cookies will help to sooth frazzled nerves.

Rule 4: No matter how many glasses of wine you’ve had, or how many bowls of ice cream you’ve gone through, do not get it into your head that making milk shakes with wine instead of milk is a good idea.  Yes, you’ve been consuming them separately, but this does not confirm their compatibility.

Rule 5: Don’t only talk about your ex.  Yes, you need to vent, but you also need moments of levity to pick up your mood.  Try reminiscing with your friend about the time you both got drunk and tripped over the perfectly level sidewalk on the way to get misspelled tattoos, or about the time your friend helped you break into your house through your bedroom window only to discover that you actually did have your house key the entire time.

Rule 6: If something breaks, don’t try to fix it.  If you’re at the point of the evening where you’re breaking things, you are in no shape to fix them.  If you try, you’ll only break it worse.  Mend your broken heart and hangover before trying to fix anything else.

Rule 7: If you do slip up and do something humiliating, at least make sure your blood alcohol level is sufficient to erase the embarrassing memories.

Rule 8: Be sure you’re prepared to treat a pounding headache in the morning.