A Stressful Time

This isn't an easy post for me to write. The last one I wrote was upbeat and ecstatic. It's hard to believe so much has happened since I wrote and scheduled it.

As many of you may know, my daughter Daisy was born last Wednesday. I may be biased, but I think she's absolutely adorable.

Anyway, when I last posted on Friday morning, I was in good spirits because we were scheduled to take Daisy home. I never thought anything would happen to change that. Unfortunately, life likes to throw you the occasional curve ball. Just before we were about to be discharged, the doctor noticed that Daisy was breathing a little fast. Not alarmingly fast, but enough that she wanted to get an x-ray to make sure things looked good. Unfortunately, they didn't look good. The x-ray and follow up blood tests revealed she was starting to develop pneumonia.

Now, I have no idea how she got sick, and I've been driving myself crazy second guessing myself. I'll likely never know how it happened. In the end, it probably doesn't matter. I'm just grateful the doctor caught it before it got worse. Treatment started early enough that she should recover easily. She doesn't even look sick apart from the giant IV she has attached to her head. If she were a little older, she'd be able to take medicine at home without a problem. However, since she's a newborn, she needs to stay in the hospital until she's done with antibiotics.

Needless to say, it's been a stressful time. I've been splitting myself between the hospital and home. When I'm at the hospital with Daisy, I feel guilty for neglecting the rest of my kids. When I'm home taking care of my other kids, I feel guilty for not being there with Daisy. No matter what I do, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm trying not to beat myself up over it, but I can't seem to stop myself.

I'm trying to focus on the positive things. She's eating well. She's been improving every day. The nurses keep commenting on how strong she is. She is going to be okay, and she should finally be home by the end of the week. Sure, it'll be a week later than planned, but better late than never.