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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group: October 2012


How in the world is it already time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group meeting?  It doesn't seem possible that another month has already flown past. Yet, I doubt my calendar is deliberately lying to me, so I will accept it as fact for the time being and submit my insecurity for scrutiny.

Of course, I should briefly offer my thanks to Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh for creating this group.  It's a safe space for us to vent about our frustrations and fears.  That's an outlet we all need from time to time.

My insecurity this month stems from my age.  My birthday is coming up in a little over a week.  Now, many of you may laugh when I tell you that I'm turning 27 and feeling anxious about it.  Let me assure you, it isn't the actual number that concerns me.  I like my dad's attitude about birthdays.  No matter how large the number of candles on your birthday cake, you're doing pretty good if you're still on this side of the grass.  A birthday is a celebration that you're still alive and kicking.

Maybe it's a glass half empty vs. half full kind of thing.  If you think of each passing year as bringing you closer to death, then yes, birthdays are going to be a real drag after a certain point.  However, if you view them instead as a "Hey, somehow I survived another year.  Woohoo!" sort of thing, it's not half bad.

Okay.  That's enough of that ramble.  On to the actual point I'm trying to make. With my birthday coming up, I've been thinking of where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.  I've dreamed of being a writer my whole life.  So now that I'm about to add another year to my official age, I'm thinking about what I have and have not accomplished as a writer.  I won't lie.  I haven't done as much as I'd like. Plenty of writers didn't get their first books published until later on in life, but I've been working toward this goal since I was 6.  That's nearly 21 years.  I always figured I'd be further along in my writing career by now.  That doesn't mean I won't, but I think we all question ourselves and the pace at which we're moving along.  I'm no different.  

I have plenty of ambition and ideas, but I never feel fully confident in my work. My lack of publication successes reinforces my doubts from time to time.  I question my intuition when it comes to my writing choices.  I never feel as if my work is good enough to show people, though I force myself to share it anyway.  I only hope that by forcing myself to risk the possible criticism and rejection, I can eventually end up where I want to be.

I'll try not to put too much pressure on myself.  I'll just try to get the work done, and we'll see what happens from there.

17 comments:

  1. I feel the same way because I'm 36 now and have been dreaming of an author career since I was 21. But, I really think timing is everything and it's not about how long you've been trying to establish yourself. It's more about it happening when you're truly ready--when you've truly matured enough as an author and storyteller. That happens whenever, but typically when people get older. (Of course, not always. ;)

    Despite how long you've been at this, think of how lucky you are to still be so young. You don't have anything to worry about because you're not even in your thirties, yet. You've got loads of time to develop.

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  2. When I attend conferences, there's usually one speaker who says that most published authors are published because they stuck with it. They learned from their earlier works and kept on writing. It sounds to me like you are well on your way.

    Best wishes for a great birthday month!

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  3. Live every day as if it were your last. Appreciate the time that you have on this earth.

    Other than that, happy birthday. 27 is a great age. I'm 41. I still feel young, but my body disagrees. Things slow way down.

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  4. I do not have as much accomplished as I'd like either--but there's always still time!

    Allison (Geek Banter)

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  5. Don't worry about what you've not achieved before 27 - many writers never even made a start until well after that (very young) age.

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  6. I didn't even start writing seriously (beyond fan fiction and role-playing games) until I was 27, so I feel like I'm really far behind a lot of the time. Keep working at it. What I've read of your flash fiction pieces and such, I've really enjoyed. And I hope you have a great birthday month!

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  7. First of all, Happy Birthday, secondly age is only a number. I'm quite a bit older than that and still hoping to make it one day. We are on this journey together, enjoy and believe in yourself.

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  8. Happy Birthday!

    That's my one (one of my one) worry when it comes to 30 being 2 years away, my TEN YEAR CLASS REUNION one year away, and I'm not published yet. -_- I've been writing for 21 years, but when you're a kid, you don't really foresee all that comes with getting your stories published.

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  9. I think you need to be part of a writing group that meets face to face and gives honest feedback (if you're not already) and just keep plugging away. Good luck!

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  10. Persistence is key!
    Hope you have a Happy Birthday! ^_^

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  11. You are still young! (And only twenty-seven? Crap, I could have a kid your age!)
    I can understand the frustration since you've been working at it for so long. But because you HAVE been working that long, that means you can't quit now. Your time might be closer than you think.
    And happy birthday.

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  12. Happy birthday fellow Libra! Pshaw, you're still young. I do understand what you're feeling though. I have a very big birthday coming up this Friday, and I definitely did not see myself where I am right now in my life when I was younger. I didn't even see myself here five years ago! Life takes us on unexpected journeys. I'm trying to enjoy the adventure, but I know I'll have a birthday pout and then eat a bunch of cake!

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  13. I understand how you feel. I'm 35 now and I was away from writing for so long that I feel like I have to make up for lost time. I put a lot of stress on myself because of it. But one thing I do find helpful is to let others see my work. If the people reading are decent people, they'll tell you the truth, without breaking your heart. And sometimes that truth is good to hear, sometimes it's not so good.

    We all think we can do better. Any writer who thinks they're perfect is probably a really bad writer.

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  14. Happy early Birthday! You are way ahead of the game. I have been dreaming of writing for as long as I can remember and I didn't start doing anything about it until I was 39 (last year). Writing can be done at any age and there are few people who's lives turn out the way they planned so just keep writing

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  15. Happy birthday. I understand your frustration about not being where you wanted to be at this time in your life. At least you are working toward the goal and dream you've had since you were six. You know what you want and if you keep at it you will succeed. I started very late in life. I always wanted to be a published author, but my law career came first and now I wish I had put more time into writing. I will not give up, though.

    I am a new follower from the IWSG.

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  16. I hear ya. Hang in there, though!

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  17. Happy birthday! It's hard having the years creep up. I can certainly relate. I wished I put more of an emphasis on my writing before a few years ago. It was always a hobby, but I wasn't confident enough about my skill to make it a career. I wish I believed in myself earlier.

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