Wednesday, September 18, 2013

A Heartfelt Letter to a Lovely Teacher

I knew I wanted to post something today, but the time got away from me.  This was in part due to the fact that I have kids and other demands that occupy a fair bit of my time.  It was also due in part to the fact that I was procrastinating.

Yes.  I was procrastinating.  We are all guilty of it from time to time, and perhaps more often than we would like to admit.

Then I thought, hey, I can use my procrastination as a source of inspiration.  I started thinking about being a kid and putting off homework.  I was always a good student, but that didn't stop me from leaving things until the last minute.

Anyway, I envisioned a kid doing everything he could to avoid doing his homework.  This little story is the result.  Enjoy!

A Heartfelt Letter to a Lovely Teacher

Dear Ms. Meade,

I am writing this letter to you under the most grievous of circumstances.  Though I eagerly anticipated working tirelessly through the night to complete the writing assignment for your wonderful class (which also happens to be my absolute favorite class, by the way), I was rendered incapable of doing so by the cruel wheels of fate.

After eating dinner, I settled in my room to do my assignment.  My notebook was open, an assortment of pencils ready to go.  Then my walkie talkie, which I use to talk to my best friend Bill who lives next door, started to emit the strangest sounds I’ve ever heard in my long fourteen years of living.  I looked around the room, eager to locate the source of the interference so I could get to work on my assignment.  That’s when I saw it.

A beam of glowing blue light shot through my bedroom window.  I sat there, stunned into silence as a life-size hologram of the President of the Interstellar Alliance materialized before me.  Of course, I didn’t know who she was until she introduced herself.  She told me that she came all the way from Pollux to ask me for my help.  The fate of a dozen worlds hung in the balance, and due to a special skill that only I have (I would go into more detail about it here, but it’s a matter of interplanetary security now) I was the only person who could save the day.

Believe me when I say that I agonized over my decision to put the lives of countless billions of people before completing my homework on time.  I genuinely wanted to fulfill my obligations as a student, but I also acknowledged that I needed to fulfill a more pressing set of obligations.

I’ll tell you, the job she needed me to do wasn’t easy.  I was up until well past midnight completing my vital task.  I cannot go into too many details, as the political landscape of the Interstellar Alliance has been strained as of late.  Were I to accidentally divulge too much, my slip-up could contribute to the unraveling of the peace treaties that bind these worlds together in peace and prosperity.  That could lead to war, invariably nullifying all of my previous efforts.  Clearly I could not allow that.

You are a wonderful educator and an all-around good person, so I am certain you can understand why I chose as I did.  In the real world, the needs of the many outweigh my need to get a good grade on a single English paper.  I can only hope that you kindly allow me the opportunity to make up for my failure in the future.

Simon Griswald

Dear Mr. Griswald,

I can only say that I found your letter most fascinating.  I have been an educator for many years, and I have seen some interesting excuses for late work in my time.  This is perhaps one of the most eloquent and creative excuses for failing to turn in an assignment that I have ever seen.  I am impressed by the way you carefully worded your letter to elicit a specific response in your reader.  That takes skill.  It takes thought.  Also, judging by the length of your letter, it also took you a bit of time.

Perhaps I should make a suggestion that may help you in the future.  Next time, you could try channeling your creativity and your undeniable way with words into the actual assignment.  It probably would have taken you the same amount of time to do so as it took you to write this letter.

Ms. Meade

P.S. I can easily see you going into a career in writing or politics.  You could go a long way with your talent.


  1. Ah, a budding author at the outset! Lovely, and so true - but what was the grade?

  2. Very true! All that effort could've gone to finishing the assignment. Creative though!

  3. What an articulate and inventive student--and how wonderful that he is using those gifts for the good of all. A very enjoyable post!

  4. I love this story! If I were the teacher I would consider accepting this as the assignment with an agreement of no more late assignments.

  5. *LOL* That was fantastic! The kid has talent, for sure. Hehehe!