I: Insanity in a Nutshell

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Insanity in a Nutshell

Defining insanity is about as difficult as finding a good pick up line at an all-species speed dating session.  Just as each race has a different idea about what kind of first impression serves as a suitable lead in to a night of naughty fun, each species also has different rules about defining insanity.

Interestingly enough, a small segment of the human population on the Daxyl colony have recently adopted the mantra “If you don’t want to join me in bed, you can’t be right in the head.”  Since this happened, tourism to this area has plummeted.  Apparently there are a lot of people the Daxyl colonists would label as crazy.

According to the Blurnblott people, refusing to cast oneself into the sacrificial fire after your thirtieth birthday is deemed sufficient for a declaration of insanity.  The punishment for refusing this suicidal plunge is, of course, having a close relative forcibly toss you into the sacrificial fire.  As this is the case, the state of insanity is short lived.

The Yako tribes segregate according to mental fitness.  The insane form their own tribes, but instead of being locked away in a facility, they wander freely across the land.  The trouble is, if you ask one tribe, they’ll say their neighboring tribe is insane.  Go to that tribe, and they’ll tell you the one you just visited was the crazy one.  Sanity is a localized phenomenon.

The Ressilians of the Klaatu system view insanity as continuing to do things that make one unhappy.  Known as the most hedonistic race in the Federation, the Ressilians are also some of the most sought out party planners.  They gladly oblige when asked to organize any social gathering, as they automatically define all other races in the galaxy as chronically insane.  Why else would the people of other worlds insist on going, day after day, to jobs they don’t like?  Why else would people forego spending hard earned money in order to save it for retirement when they can’t even be certain they’ll live long enough to use it?  When the Ressilians plan any social event, they do it in an attempt to give other sentient beings a reprieve from their perceived insanity.

Even with the relativity of this subject in mind, one can hardly argue that a majority of sentient species would find the actions of Magistrate Bibble more than a tad cuckoo.  Odds are, if someone trespasses against you in a way you find egregious, you’ll label them as a few candles short of a birthday cake.

So it could hardly come as a surprise that the Great Orator, head of the Vaaldeen empire, and Adam Evans, a scrawny and insignificant human, agreed on the necessity of Bibble’s demise. 

Unfortunately for Adam, he had no idea what the Great Orator had in store for him.  As a matter of fact, the Great Orator’s plans were certainly something that Adam himself would consider quite insane.


Proceed to entry J.