K: Knights of the Order of Knitting

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Knights of the Order of Knitting

Adam couldn’t take his eyes off the needle.  He didn’t have a good track record when it came to dealing with crazy people.  “Joust?  I don’t have anything to joust with, so I’ll have to take a rain check.”

With a quick movement of his free hand, the knight produced another knitting needle out of thin air and set it on the bar.  “Now you have a weapon.  En garde!”  He crouched into a defensive stance, thrusting his own “weapon” forward.

“Umm, that’s a knitting needle,” Adam said slowly.

“It’s the weapon of choice for my order.”  This man’s voice rang out with a distinctive English accent.

Adam picked up the needle, which was a pleasant shade of powder blue.  Yet he didn’t feel prepared to do anything with it.  “Your order?”

“I am Sir Edwin of the Knights of the Order of Knitting.”  The knight pointed once more to the needle in Adam’s hand.  “Again, would you care to joust?”

Shaking his head, Adam replied, “If you don’t mind, I think I’d rather learn more about you.  Would you like a drink?”

Sir Edwin flipped open his visor to reveal cerulean eyes.  “As a knight of my order, I am not permitted to partake in the consumption of alcoholic beverages.”

“You’re in a bar.”

He nodded.  “Yes.  That’s because the only people who agree to joust with me tend to be intoxicated.”  He lifted his helmet and pulled it upward, releasing flowing locks of sweaty blond hair.  Setting it on the bar, he added, “I also can’t risk jousting in most places.  It was prohibited by the Federation, and our order couldn’t afford the legal ramifications.  At least here, no one can go to the law to turn me in since they’re all running from the law to begin with.”

Though Sir Edwin couldn’t have any alcohol, the bartender was able to find an old bottle of sparkling water hidden behind the whisky.  He sipped at the drink, which hardly had any fizz left in it at all, and explained more about his knightly existence.  “I am a knight because I believe in honor and doing good things in this world.  Unfortunately, these days people tend to sue you when you do things to help them.  They care more about what they can take from you than what you willingly offer.  That’s why my order took up knitting.  It is a way of passing the time while we wait for an opportunity to do something noble and worthwhile again.  We even used to donate the resulting blankets, hats, and scarves to charity.  That is, until charities started to demand you only donate factory-made items for legal reasons.”

Though Sir Edwin sounded quite sad, Adam only heard the sound of opportunity ringing in his ears.  This was the man the Great Orator wanted him to find.  He felt sure of it.  “Sir Edwin, I think I have a cause for you.”



Proceed to entry L.