N: Naughties With Nunchucks

This is a continuous story, so start HERE with entry A.  You may also find all the chapters in one place on this PAGE.

Naughties With Nunchucks

Adam whistled.  The Motorbike Missionaries had chapters on many Federation worlds, though they certainly weren’t a legal organization by any means.  The group flagrantly violated any law that got in the way of their objective: making money peddling their unique product.  This product was something that practically everyone, minus the most masochistic individuals, sought out on a regular basis.  Contentment.

People often assumed you had to get something else in order to find contentment.  A high paying job, perhaps.  A family.  Maybe a regular dose of physical pleasure.  There were certainly services that could provide any kind of carnal knowledge you desired for a price.  And while any of the aforementioned things could bring about a certain level of contentment, they also had their corresponding price.  Most people could accept a certain price for the fulfillment they found from these sources, especially when it came to having a family.  Yet many have to wait many years struggling in a career to find the stability to have a family, while others lack the social graces to even dream of getting a date.  And for them, the pleasure derived from the available (in spite of the illegality of them all) prostitution services quickly faded into discontentment once more.

By injecting nanobots into the customer’s brain, the Motorbike Missionaries were able to provide a satisfactory sense of satisfaction for a longer period of time than any drug or aphrodisiac.  The nanobots were programmed to work on specific areas of the brain.  When they worked properly, they were able to stimulate those areas, creating a deep sense of serenity in spite of what life had to offer.

“I liked knowing that my work made people happy,” Layla said.  “The Federation declared us dangerous because they didn’t want people to be happy.  They wanted people to work themselves to death to innovate and give their government everything it wanted.  We rode in on motorcycles as a symbol of our rebelliousness.  We were missionaries that made life worth living for those who felt hopeless.”

“Meanwhile, the Federation must have been breathing down your necks.”  Adam remembered seeing news reports about sting operations intended to capture the missionaries.

“They were, but we took that as a sign that we were doing the right thing.  Besides, government agents weren’t our biggest threat.”  Layla gave her gray meal one last look of disgust before pushing it to the center of the table.  “There were other operations out there looking to give people a good time.  We were a threat to that.  Our nanobots were designed to wear down after a year, so people would need to purchase replacements.  People didn’t want to give up their happiness, so they gladly paid for more.  We gained money and influence, and the Naughties decided they needed to stop us.  They targeted my chapter in particular, since we were the largest.”

Adam knew who the Naughties were.  They were largest call girl/call boy business in the sector.  The Naughties were utterly illegal, but they serviced a lot of prominent politicians.  That helped them dodge plenty of legal issues. 

Unfortunately for them, the economic issues with the rising popularity of the Motorbike Missionaries threatened to render them impotent.  “One night we were attacked while riding through a backwater town.  The Naughties were there with all sorts of weapons: rifles, grenades, swords, nunchucks.  Anything they could use against us, they had.  They even paid the local townspeople significant amounts of money to join in on the attack.  Everyone in my chapter was killed, and I was captured.  I thought I’d die in the Naughties’ hands, but the Federation swooped in and took me.”  She laughed, though it was the kind of incredulous laugh that tries to deflect the absurdities of life.  “Magistrate Bibble saved my life.”

Adam tilted his head, as if this change in position would help this make sense.  “If he saved you, why are you fighting against him?”

Layla grimaced.  “I’m fighting against him because of what he asked me to do in return.”


Proceed to entry O.