Thursday, June 14, 2012

First Kiss

Though my schedule doesn't require me to post on Thursdays, this blogfest, like many good kisses, was too tempting to resist.  Thanks again to Jackie and Dani for hosting such a yummy blogfest!  

I am taking the first kiss from the same WIP I used for the first fight entry on Tuesday.  I this section is a little long, but I really wanted to capture the moment.  At this point, Gretchen has learned of a prophecy concerning Quirin and herself, and this has been the secret that kept him from allowing their telepathic bond to go as deep as they've both wanted it to be.  Now that she knows, Gretchen has to decide how she wants to proceed, and this choice will forever alter the nature of their relationship.
Quirin smiled.  As soon as she had the board ready and poised to go, he climbed on behind her.
“I’ll take it easy,” she promised.  “Just hold on to me and it’ll be fine.”
They rose into the air slowly.  Gretchen took them up so they rode just above the treetops, providing them with a much more direct route and a panoramic view.  Quirin had his arms around her midsection and his cheek pressed against the back of her head as he eagerly took in the beauty of the scene unfolding before him and the sweet feeling of such closeness.  The scent of her hair and the warmth of her invaded his senses.  This was the closest thing to a perfect moment that Quirin had ever known.
Gretchen could sense these feelings of pleasure and tranquility within him, which meant he was beginning to let down his guard a little.  It definitely seemed that Quirin felt relieved now that she knew the truth, despite the discomfort it had caused him at first.  And she was fairly certain she knew why.  As they came to the clearing, she reduced speed until they came to a halt several meters above the center of it.  The sky above them was afire with every conceivable color, and a gentle evening breeze grazed their skin.  The sheer combination made Gretchen feel heady, and as it turned out, quite bold.
She pivoted slowly so that the setting suns were at her back.  Quirin maintained his hold of her, moving his hands to her shoulders now that she faced him.  The bright light nearly blinded him, but he kept his eyes focused on her face, understanding intuitively that this moment wasn’t one to miss.  “I appreciate that you told me,” she began, forcing herself to look directly at him as she spoke.  For some reason, looking into his purple eyes made it difficult for her to concentrate.  But somehow she managed to keep her voice steady.  “It must have been difficult, I know.  I need to know one thing, though.  Why did you tell me?”
Quirin faltered for a moment.  At last, he said, “My magister ludi thought it prudent to do so.  The prophecy . . .”
“I know all that,” she interrupted, placing a slightly shaky hand on his face.  “Though I don’t know what the prophecy is or how it involves me, I know it’s playing a role in all this.  That’s not what I mean.  There’s something else, some other reason, and I think I know what it is.”  Taking a deep breath, she pressed on and said what she knew she had to say.  “You love me, don’t you?”
Quirin froze.  None of his life’s experiences had in any way prepared him for this. 
Before he had a chance to find his voice, Gretchen jumped in again, hoping to spare him some of the distress he clearly felt at that moment.  “It’s all right if you do,” she said, her touch feather light, “because I love you.”
It took a couple of drawn-out moments for the words to hit him and sink below the surface of his stunned thoughts.  His body went numb, and all that he could feel was his heart as it pounded in his chest.  And he knew that Gretchen could sense all of this going on inside him because the shields he’d kept up during the trek home had crumbled with that single admission.  As he stared into her face, feeling the nervous anticipation that she felt, and seeing the kindness and sincerity he could always expect from her, his numbed muscles seemed to make the crucial decision for him.  Before he was fully aware of his actions, he had pulled her in tight against his body and leaned forward until his lips met hers.  Gretchen slid her arms around him, as much to feel the warmth of him as to help keep her balance.  He kissed her in a way she’d never before experienced.  His lips were warm and inviting, and if she hadn’t known better, she never would have guessed this was his first time.  And his entire body responded to her.  He moved in sync with her every movement, keeping her as close as possible, as if he could never get quite close enough.  But that wasn’t all.  After what could have only been a few seconds, something strange began to happen.
It started as a tingling sensation all over her body.  At each point where she came into contact with him, her skin grew hot.  Energy flowed between them, and as Quirin dropped the last of his shields, the torrent of energy multiplied in intensity to the point that Gretchen lost all awareness of the outside world.  The longer they remained in that tight embrace, surrounded by a vibrating current of shared energy, the deeper they were pulled into one another’s thoughts.  Gretchen had few coherent thoughts of her own, but she felt overwhelmed by how powerful Quirin really was.  All this time, he’d been holding back far more than she’d realized.  His energy poured into her through her skin, invigorating her in a way that she hadn’t imagined possible.  Along with it came every emotion he felt at that moment, and she knew that her thoughts and feelings were flowing into him as well.  Nothing was hidden.  Nothing really could be hidden.  But there finally wasn’t a need to hide anything anymore.
After what may have been only a few moments, or even several minutes, Gretchen came back to herself long enough to notice that she was about to fall backwards.  She pulled away from Quirin’s grip to see what was happening.  As a result of the perfectly welcome distraction, the two of them had managed to tip the board over.  Her special grip shoes held her in place for the moment, but they likely wouldn’t if they continued to go over.  Before she could react, the board halted.
“I’ve got it,” he assured her, his mouth near her ear.  And as if those words were magic, they leveled out again.
Now she beamed at him.  “Some things are so easy for you, aren’t they?” Gretchen said breathlessly.  And it wasn’t the near-fall that had made her that way.
Quirin’s smile differed from all of the others she’d seen from him in the past.  This one seemed unencumbered.  Unconcerned.  Though it would only be a momentary relief from life’s burdens, he looked intently at her, as if burning her image into his memory so he could remember how good it felt.  He nodded as he ran a gentle hand through her hair.  “Loving you is certainly easy for me.”
That triggered another rush of emotion, and it took great restraint to keep her from kissing him again.  Holding that thought, she said, “Maybe we should land now.”
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.  Feel free to be honest with your comments.  There are some scenes you want to capture perfectly.  This is one of them.


  1. Alright, so when can I read the whole book? No, seriously though... I was waiting for this post after reading your "First Fight" excerpt. There's something about a telepathic connection, eliminating all walls, that acts as a magnet to the reader. Who wouldn't want that? What a gift to be able to share so openly with another being. Then again, I bet there are times that it would feel like a curse, too...

    As far as writing specific feedback, I think you captured the moment perfectly. I could almost feel the energy that your characters were feeling and you did a great job of relaying the intensity. If there was any room for improvement here, I might suggest elaborating on the setting. The only clear picture I didn't have as I was reading was what the sun(s)set actually looked like or what they were actually hovering over during that emotional scene. All the important stuff came across loud and clear, though. Thanks so much for sharing this! I really do love the story so far :-)

  2. I think you've done really well with this scene! You nailed it!

  3. This is very sweet. You could really feel the strong connection growing between them

  4. What a great excerpt! This first kiss is for the books!

  5. That was some kiss! Great scene, I love the description of the kiss and the characters' feelings during it :)

  6. Great first kiss and showing of emotions they went through during that moment.

    Thanks for participating in the blogfest!

  7. I just sighed and actually said "Ahhh." Thanks for the moment.

  8. Nothing better than the final unveiling of feelings. =) This was a great exchange. (Goodness, that sounds so stuffy...)

  9. That was delicious. I always look forward to coming back to good ol' Gretchen and Quirin. Those purple eyes. *swoon*