Thursday, October 11, 2012

Detour


I've seen posts for Five Sentence Fiction all over the place since I started on this blogging journey, but I've never tried it before.  For all of you who don't know about it, you can visit Lillie McFerrin's site for more details.

The prompt for this week is "detour."  I now present to you my first attempt at writing a story in five sentences.


Detour

Three moons were already climbing the dusky violet sky, and Ylana sat amongst the blue-veined ferns, watching with bated breath as the beautiful Nara bathed in the crystalline pool below.

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick
 @  FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Engaged to Jidan since early childhood, Ylana had been raised to follow the path of responsibility: marriage, multiple children, and a requirement of ten retirement years spent as a Kryllian host.  Sentenced to a life spent in the service of everyone but herself, her path was the precise opposite of everything that Nara’s life as a space renegade represented.

Nara already made her proposal, and Ylana need only climb inside that sleek starship to accept the adventures that always eluded her.  Close friends said that such actions were only a detour, that she must eventually accept her fate, but Ylana knew that some detours could last a lifetime.


Go to The Token

9 comments:

  1. I sense a fabulous adventure to follow...It's always fun to take a detour and rebel!

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  2. I'm with Sarah on this one, plus I wanted to know more about the world they are on, and where they had been and what they were going to do. Thank you :)

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  3. That is a beginning of a epic story!

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  4. Yep.

    A fine beginning.

    Excellent first FSF. Welcome aboard!

    Cheers!
    JzB

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  5. Cool. Five Sentence Science Fiction! Liked it!

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  6. Such a lot of imagery in this, and such a lot of background in five short sentences. Intriguing.

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  7. Completely captivating, I hope there's more to come.

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  8. Woo-hoo! Good job! Welcome to FSF. I can't help thinking there's quite a bit of your own inner longing in this. You could certainly be expressing the feelings of a lot of women who grew to fulfill others' dreams and put their own on hold. Lovely piece, L.G.

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  9. Awesome job! I love a good rebel :) I'm so glad you've joined in on FSF. I'm behind on reading, so off to read your sentences for Flawed!!

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