Today I felt like writing a short, stand-alone piece. I hope you don't mind.
Dr.
Mystery’s Magical Gifts
The giant metallic object hummed as its spherical bulk
rotated slowly in midair. Little emerald
lights danced across its surface. Marcel
had never expected that such an odd object could exist, so he certainly didn’t
anticipate a delivery van with the words “Dr. Mystery’s Magical Gifts” painted
across the side in luminous pink letters.
“What is it?” Marcel asked the tiny delivery man. How someone who barely stood higher than his
waist managed to successfully wrangle this massive object into his kitchen, he
would never know.
The delivery man shrugged.
“Beats me. That’s the point of
Dr. Mystery.” He reached into a pocket and
pulled out a brochure, offering it to Marcel.
“Here. Have a look.”
Marcel was shocked that the pink wording on the side of the
truck matched the words on the pamphlet.
“Are you tired of shopping for the person who seems to have
everything? Are you tired of always
choosing gifts that leave your loved ones dissatisfied? Or are you simply unable to refrain from
telling your family members what you bought them for Christmas? Then call Dr. Mystery, and our trained
associates will select a gift based upon the amount you are willing to pay. You’ll never have to make any decisions about
the kind of gift we send, nor will you know which gift was sent to that special
someone until after delivery.” Marcel
looked up and laughed. “The lazy man’s
shopping strategy, in other words. This
looks expensive, though. Who sent it?”
“It does indeed come from the top tier,” the delivery man
replied. “It’s the most expensive gift
we have in stock, in fact. The giver wished
to remain anonymous, though.”
“What am I supposed to do with it if I don’t know what it
is?” Marcel demanded.
“Oh, I’m supposed to give you this, too.” He handed over a standard issue birthday
card.
Marcel lazily flipped the card open and found a note printed
inside. “We hope your birthday is filled
with surprises. As one of those
surprises, we present to you the MegaDrive 3000. Contained inside is a million dollars in cash
and twenty pounds of explosives. The
MegaDrive cannot be controlled by remote.
You must open it manually, which requires you to be standing next to the
device. There is a 90% chance that you
will not trigger an explosion, and you will become rich. There is, however, a 10% chance that the
device will go off when you open it, and the resulting explosion will kill you,
level your home, and potentially maim or kill anyone who lives nearby. If you do not wish to take this chance,
simply return the device to us. No
refunds will be granted. If you wish to
tempt fate, kindly allow the delivery personnel enough time to make it to
safety before opening the MegaDrive 3000.”
Marcel looked up at the delivery man, all color gone from his face. “This is a joke, right?”
“Oh, it’s no joke.
They’re very careful about the safety of their employees, sir.” The delivery man smiled. “So, it’s time for you to choose. Are you going to send it back with me, or do
you want to take a chance at becoming a millionaire?”
Yikes! That's a kicker of a dilemna. Me, I'd choose life. 10% isn't bad, but it's too risky for me!
ReplyDeleteDamn. What a choice. But a 10% chance of dying is higher than I want to risk, I think.
ReplyDelete