Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Self-Help 101 Release Day!

It's here!  The day has finally come and my newest novella Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family is now available!  It's always an exciting time.  This is the first book in a series of four that will be taking over the next year of my life, but it's good to have a plate full of writing ideas.

Now, I was originally supposed to kick off my blog tour elsewhere, but the person who'd volunteered to host me had to pull out for personal reasons.  I didn't have any luck finding anyone else last minute, but no worries.  I decided to just kick things off here.  Why not? These things happen, and sometimes all you can do is go with it.  If any of you would like to help me out by tweeting or sharing this post to get the word out, I'd really appreciate it!

To get everyone in the holiday mood, I’d like to warn you about something you can expect at this time of year.  And yes, I wrote this in the style of the movie trailers I grew up watching.  Just read this with that voice in mind.  Many of you probably know which voice I’m talking about.  If not, you can plenty of examples online.

Coming this holiday season to a gathering near you . . .

In a world decked out in holiday cheer, you can’t escape them.  They’ll find you!  They blow up the boundaries of good taste and offend the rules of aesthetics with their tackiness.  They will offend your eyes and provide ample opportunities for embarrassing photos.

Prepare yourself for the onslaught of the ugly Christmas sweaters!

There are actually ugly sweaters for every holiday, but ugly Christmas sweaters are notorious.  If you celebrate Hanukkah, though, there are sweaters for you too, and they’re just as offensive to the sensibilities as their Christmas counterparts!

If you’d like to find the perfect ugly sweater for you, just do a quick internet search.  Did you know there are 3D Christmas sweaters?  Seriously, look it up!

Now I hope you’ll enjoy a snippet from my novella Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.

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If you’re reading this book, I can assume you either want to take over the world and are looking for some pointers, or you simply want to be entertained.  I hope that you’re able to get what you want from the experience of reading this, but there’s no guarantee.  No refunds, either.  You may walk away from this scratching your head and wondering what in the world is wrong with me, and I won’t lie.  That would be an understandable response.

*     *     *

Title: Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family
Author: L.G. Keltner
Genre: Holiday/Humor
Length: 27,000
Cover Art: L.G. Keltner
Release Date: December 1, 2015


Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start.  After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting.  She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.

Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season.  Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately.  Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it.  On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.

One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.


L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good. 

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.

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  1. Congratulations!! Sorry the tour didn't start as planned, but we are good to go next week.

  2. Happy release day! I have your post for my blog all ready to go. =)

  3. Happy release day!!! My favourite holiday tradition is getting together with the family for Chinese food on Christmas eve.

  4. Congratulations!!! It sounds like the perfect Christmas read and a lot of fun! Wishing you lots of madness over the coming weeks :) ..... must do it now .... hang on ..... there you go! I have just downloaded it on amazon Germany (de) so there is one sale!! Now the hubbies dinner will be late :) All the best.