This is the final day of the blog tour for my Christmas novella Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family. Today I'm with Cathrina Constantine. The subject for the day is mistletoe.
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Unity Day
“Our days together are passing far too quickly,” I
whisper. I run my trembling fingers
through Rafael’s dark hair as the sun rises again, bathing us both in light. The rays catch Earth’s atmosphere for a few
moments, making it flash a vibrant blue, and it looks as if the entire planet
hasn’t been rendered uninhabitable by a brutal war.
This is sunrise number eight. Our time together is halfway over. Eight mini-days remain.
“That’s why we’re going to make the most of them,”
Rafael says. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it
Anouk? Imagine how different it would be
if we could live down there.”
It’s a breathtaking thought, even more stunning
than the marble of a world rotating quietly below us or the deep brown of
Rafael’s eyes. Maybe it’s masochistic to
even entertain the notion, but this is the one 24-hour time period out of the
entire year when I allow myself to do it.
“We’d get a house,” I say. “I’ve seen some pictures of what they looked
like. We’d have a house with a lot of
rooms, a porch, and a yard with grass.”
There, inside our house, all of our days were long and full.
Rafael hums in approval as he reaches for my
hand. His palm is calloused from years
of hard labor. In his section of the
station, everyone who’s capable of doing so is expected to start working full
time at age fourteen. Seven years have
passed since then, and I’ve seen plenty of other changes that came along with
the roughened skin. His smiles came more
easily. His laughter once shook his
whole body with its strength.
“Grass. I
wonder what grass smells like.”
I shrug. “No
one knows, so I guess that means whatever we imagine is the truth. There’s no one here to tell us otherwise.” It’s a childish idea, and I know it. No matter how hard I try to ignore reality,
it won’t go away.
We have eight orbits left. Eight more cycles of ninety minutes apiece
before we go back to our respective lives.
“Our own little truth that no one else knows. I like that.”
He smiles.
“Me too.”
I cast my eye around the mess hall that’s been
rearranged for the day. The banner
proclaiming “Happy Unity Day!” is drooping above the doorway and looking rather
ragged around the edges. This is
understandable considering it’s been used for at least the last five years. Supplies are limited, so this holiday that
was conceived on our little island in space doesn’t typically have much in
terms of decorations, but that isn’t much of a problem. It’s sandwiched snugly between Hanukkah and
Christmas this year, the timing meant to piggyback off the general feeling of
goodwill that’s supposed to abound. Judging by the distance separating the small
clusters of humanity that dot the room, the feeling of goodwill wore off a
little while ago. Most people have
already made their way back to their respective parts of the station.
“Do you think your mother is still watching?”
Rafael asks. He must think that’s the
reason for my distraction.
I can almost feel the gaze of the camera piercing
my back. “I’m sure she is. She says that she’s obligated to keep a close
eye on things since this entire station is her responsibility, but I know
better.” She’s never liked that I fell
in love with a Laborer. She’s reminded
me time and again that there’s no future in it, and I know she’s right. As an Administrator, I’m destined to end up
with a fellow Administrator. If only she
understood that I can’t just turn my feelings off.
“What if we could run? We’d go and hide in another part of the
station for a few hours,” Rafael says wistfully. “We could pretend we’re in our house where we
can spend our days however we like.”
I’ve pictured this many times before. What would it be like to steal a few private
moments, to have something more than the supervised hours of daydreaming a life
together? Unfortunately, time alone
could lead to unsanctioned babies, and had in the past. That’s why this holiday is governed by such
stringent rules.
Each section of the station needs to maintain a
certain population size, and the people who live there perform their
predetermined tasks. They have children
with people within their section.
Educational resources are allocated accordingly. We’re told that, with such a small
population, we need to do all we can to maintain stability. The sacrifices we make are for the greater
good.
Sometimes I even believe that, but not today.
“That would be amazing.” I lean against his shoulder, savoring the
feeling of his arm sliding around my waist.
The rules might be taking a lot away from us, but they can’t take this
away. Not yet, at least.
One year, hopefully a long time from now, Rafael
will tell me that he’s married someone he can have a future with, or it will be
me telling him the same. We’ll both look
back at the previous Unity Day and reflect on how we didn’t know it would be
the last one we spent together.
We’ll have children with other people, as we’re
expected to do.
We’ll live according to the rules of our
classification. There’s no other choice.
Until then, we’ll spend this holiday pretending
each turn around Earth represents one full day, and we’ll fill that time with
all the happiness we can.
Eight miniature days left. Eight orbits around a
dead world. While it’s impossible not to
think of what might have been, I don’t want that to be all we have. I kiss his cheek, the stubble scratching at
my skin as I slowly pull away. “You know
what is amazing, though?”
Rafael is running his fingers through my hair
now. “What?”
“This here.
This is pretty amazing too.”
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