Dr. Seuss, Writer and Philosopher

I don't have time for a lengthy post.  It's been a busy day.  Still, I was thinking about childhood, and I started reflecting on how philosophical Dr. Seuss could be.  His philosophy on life was a positive one for kids, and it's presented in such a lyrical and fun way that it sticks with you.

That's why I decided to acknowledge this by sharing some of my favorite Seuss quotes.

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.” 

― Dr. Seuss

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...” 

― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” 

― Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to You!

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 

― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” 

― Dr. Seuss

“You're off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting,

So... get on your way!” 

― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

“I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love.” 

― Dr. Seuss

Do you have any favorite quotes from childhood that helped shape your personal philosophy?

The Weekend Philosopher: Some Thoughts on Being a Writer

There is a difference between writing and being a writer.  Having the ability to put pen to paper does not immediately make you a writer, because there's something more to it than that.  The urge . . . no . . . the need to tell stories, the need to put a piece of yourself in your work, makes you a writer.  Being a writer is an identity.  It's a way of life.

"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it."

-Anaïs Nin

You can always tell when something was written by someone who didn't put their all into creating it.  You know when someone's passion, their heart, isn't in the work you're reading.  There's a spark missing.  An intangible thing that is nevertheless noticeable in its absence.  A person may try to write stories merely to make money or make a name for themselves (though there are plenty of more profitable professions to pursue if you don't mind only being in it for the money), but the work will inevitably suffer for it.

Why should we even care about this?  Some would say a novel is just fiction.  How could it possibly matter?

"One can be absolutely truthful and sincere even though admittedly the most outrageous liar. Fiction and invention are of the very fabric of life."

-Henry Miller

Fiction can offer us the things that real life may not.  We can experience cultures we've never been a part of, find ourselves in social situations we never previously imagined.  If an author is sincere in their creative passion, they can help provide us with a rich tapestry of experience we never knew we were missing until we found it.

A creative work, when filled with passion and commitment on the part of the creator, is so much more than mere words on the page.  It has the ability to reach people, to transform people while providing new perspectives and/or provoking strong and meaningful emotions.  We all have those stories, those characters, that we carry with us forever.  To create something this powerful and enduring, you need to put everything into your writing.

If you can put that kind of dedication into your work, then you are a writer.  Even if you're unpublished, that does not alter the fact that you are a writer.  Be proud of that fact, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it.  The potential to do great things is always there as long as you're willing to put everything you have into doing it.

The Weekend Philosopher: Change

I know I haven't done one of these posts in awhile.  I have no excuse, really. Some weekends I have been legitimately too busy, but there were others where I most assuredly wasn't.  On those occasions, I may have been working on other writing projects (which I suppose could be used as an excuse), but I also might have been stumped for what to post about.

Or maybe, just maybe, I was being a tad lazy.  Please don't judge too harshly. You know we all succumb to apathy from time to time.  I simply made a decision to be ambitious today.

Now, on to the actual topic I wanted to touch on.

Background image courtesy of adamr/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I got to thinking about change today, mostly because I was reflecting on some of the self-destructive behaviors some people engage in and some of the potential reasons why some people hurt themselves the way that they do.  We all know people who sell themselves short.  We all know people who harm themselves, whether it's through constantly berating themselves, or doing drugs, or remaining in abusive relationships.  The list of ways people hurt themselves could go on forever.

I'm not exempt from this list.  I've talked down to myself plenty of times.  And though I won't go into it now, when I was a teenager, I considered doing some pretty harmful things.  Luckily, I was far too stubborn a person to give in, especially as a teenager.

So I get it, at least to an extent.  Life can be hard.  Some situations can be downright insufferable.  Yet there are plenty of beautiful things in life to experience as well.  No matter how dark it may seem, as long as you're still living, there's hope for something better.  Yeah, I know, cue cheesy music.  It may sound like a cliche to say this, but that doesn't make it any less true.

So, on to the reason I chose this quote.  Some people may engage in harmful behaviors to escape from the moment.  They may be trying their best to get through the day.  I honestly try not to judge people too harshly, because even if we don't understand the reasons why people do things that are obviously stupid, in their minds, the actions may be justified by the things that are going on in their lives.  We can't always know, because we're not them.  We can't know exactly how it feels to be them, regardless of how much we may claim to know everything.  I've seen people take one look at a single woman with children who can barely afford her groceries, and they assume they can recite her entire life story.  Guess what?  You can't be that sure of anything.  Don't leap to judgment, especially if you don't want people to leap to judgment about you.

Okay, I got off on a bit of a tangent.  Anyway, as I was saying, people may not think about the consequences of their actions when they're hurting.  Or if they are, the negative consequences may seem worth the reprieve from the world they're currently inhabiting.  All I can say is this.  Maybe, if you're hurting yourself in some way, you should look down the road and truly consider where your actions may lead you.  Is that what you want for yourself?  If it's not, then perhaps it's time to choose a new direction.  As long as you're still here, it's not too late.

And if you don't think you're worth anything better than the disastrous outcomes you foresee, then let me respectfully tell you that you couldn't be more wrong.  You are unique and irreplaceable.  I hate using so many cliches in one place, because sometimes it makes a sentiment seem fake or contrived. (Even though, if you think about it, it may possibly be a cliche because so many people have seen the truth of it.)  Trust me when I say that I mean everything I say here.  We're all worth more than the limitations we place on ourselves.

“There is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost."

― Martha Graham

There are contributions to this world that only you can make.  You do what you do in your own special way, and it's all the more valuable because of the way it differs from what others do.  Embrace that as you look down the road ahead of you, and if need be, prepare to alter course.

Wow.  I think that may have sounded too corny.  Still, I stand by the sentiment.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and unwind from my cliche overload.

Musing About Voice

Today I'm struggling with my muse.  Have you ever had one of those days when you can't seem to find your writerly voice?  For whatever reason, whether it be stress or tiredness or simple distraction, I think all writer's struggle to hit their writing stride from time to time.

That's one of the reasons why I didn't post a philosophy post over the weekend. My mind was just dead.  For that reason, I'm going to combine my weekend philosophy post with my Monday meeting with my muse.  I'll reflect a little on the issue of voice.

Sometimes I read the works of authors I enjoy and admire, and I wonder how they put their stories on paper.  From time to time, I wish I could replicate their voice, or even just capture the confidence that comes through in their voice.

Still, while it may be wise to study the voice of our favorite authors so we can better understand how they use language to tell their stories, we shouldn't wish to replicate any one writer's voice exactly.

"A writer should have this little voice inside of you saying, Tell the truth. Reveal a few secrets here."
-Quentin Tarantino 

Part of telling that truth is being genuine in your voice.  The way you structure your sentences, the words you choose, are a reflection of who you are.  The parts of the story you emphasize, and the parts you gloss over, reveals a lot about you.  Putting yourself onto the page in that way keeps you excited and connected to your work.

"A voice is such a deep, personal reflection of character."

-Daniel Day-Lewis 

If you try to use a voice that is not your own, you will ultimately lose that connection with your work that each writer should have, and your work will suffer for it.  That's why I know that, even when I'm having a brief period of time when I struggle to find my voice, I can't give up.  As a writer, I have to be me.  Otherwise I might as well not do it at all.

So how do you make it past such difficulties when life weighs on you and makes expression difficult?  Keep trying, and believe that with a little effort, you'll hit your stride again.  It's only a matter of time and effort.

The Weekend Philosopher: Wisdom

This will be a short post, since I've had another quite busy weekend.  Six years ago today, I married the man I love.  It's amazing how fast those years have gone, and I'm sure that will continue to be the case.

Today, I just wanted to take a quick look at a tricky concept.  What is wisdom?

In my view, wisdom doesn't mean knowing the answers to everything.  It doesn't mean having a beard and sitting alone in the woods, though one who does so may in fact be wise.  For me, wisdom is knowing how to look at the world and figure it out.  It's much more an approach to life than anything else.

Image courtesy of Photokanolk
/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you have a thirst for knowledge and wish to seek it out at every turn, you are well on your way to wisdom.  How can you hope to develop a well-balanced and calm approach to life if you don't have curiosity?  How can you seek out knowledge if you don't understand how to sort through the good and the bad 

Yet, you cannot hope to be wise without an intimate knowledge of yourself.  The way you approach the world must be unique to you.  The way you seek knowledge must be uniquely you.  How else can you hope to keep the enthusiasm and hunger that pushes you to learn more about the world around you.  After all, you cannot hope to go for a long walk in shoes that don't fit.  You would only end up frustrated and pained by the blisters worn on your feet.

Image courtesy of pat138241
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How do you get to know yourself?  Through honesty and self-reflection.  You may not always like all that you learn about yourself, but that honesty is the key to change.  It is the key to learning and discovery.

I guess if wisdom does begin in wonder, we should feel that kind of wonder about our own selves.  This comment does not come from vanity, but the simple truth that you are the only one who can travel your own path to wisdom.  If you want to make your journey to wisdom successfully, you need to know how you walk through life.  And in the process of self-discovery, you hone the skills required to discover more about the world around you and how you fit into it.

These are simply some of my scattered thoughts about the subject.  What do you think wisdom is?  How do you attain it?  Is it even something that can be attained, and if so, should we hope to attain it?

The Weekend Philosopher: Douglas Adams

This has been an extraordinarily busy weekend.  With my Towel Day Blogfest going on through Monday, and this being a holiday weekend on top of all that, I'm going to do something simple for my philosophical post for the week.

In this spirit of Towel Day and Douglas Adams, I'm going to share a few quotes that I feel are philosophical in nature.

"For instance, on the planet Earth, man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much-the wheel, New York, wars and so on-whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.  But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man-for precisely the same reasons."

-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."

-The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

It's all about perspective, indeed.  If that makes you feel uncomfortable at all, remember this.

"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day."

-The Salmon of Doubt

If your new expanded perspective on life is freaking you out, you can choose your outlook, as we learn from the following quote:

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

―The Original Hitchhiker Radio Scripts

And, above all, keep this in mind.

"Don't Panic."

-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Hopefully that gave you plenty to think about as you go about your weekend. Cheers!

The Weekend Philosopher: Legacies

For some people, living a worthwhile life is simply a matter of doing what makes them happy.  Or it may mean taking care of those they love.  For others, it may mean making a lasting impact on the world.

As human beings, we are aware of our own mortality.  This places an unknown time limit on our lives.  None of us know how long we have, but we want our lives to have counted for something.  Leaving a legacy after death seems to be a common theme throughout human history.  We want our life stories to last beyond us, even if it is simply with those who knew us.  However, a familial legacy is not always enough.  

Perhaps we want to leave something behind that speaks to who we were, and we hope that message will be heard by people who never had the opportunity to know them in life.  We may hope that our message will touch others and inspire them.  Or we may hope that our legacy, whatever it may be, will continue to entertain.

Whatever it is we want to leave behind in this world, we need to face one irrevocable fact.  We cannot control how future generations might view what we leave behind.

Background Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why is this the case?  We are invariably a product of our times.  This contributes to the friction seen between the older and younger generations.  As society changes, points of view shift, and those born into more recent times are bound to differ from those who came before for that reason.  The evolution of society may be gradual, but the change is evident in our world nevertheless.

This process of change will undoubtedly continue after our lives end.  If we've made films, or written books, or been well known for fighting for certain causes, we can only measure the impact we've had on the world in which that work was done.  However, a legacy is not limited to the present.  It lives on, sometimes crossing multiple generations.  While future generations may, if we're lucky enough to be remembered for what we created, look at our work in the context of the time in which it was done, they will also look at it from the context of their own time.  The personal view they hold, which is inevitably influenced by their own culture, is something we cannot predict with any certainty.

So when we seek to leave a legacy behind, what should we take into consideration?  Since the future will read our lives in a way we cannot foresee, we only have one real option open to us.  We can only do the things that we feel are right.  We can build the legacy that we would be proud to have.  What are you passionate about?  What of this world would you like to preserve?  What injustices do you wish to remedy?  What creative work do you feel an insatiable need to create?  Embrace those things, because at the end of the day, the only thing you can control is your life.  Live a life that's brings you a sense of fulfillment.  History will see you (or not see you) according to its own rules.

Background Image courtesy of Piyaphon
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Weekend Philosopher: Monstrosity and Storytelling

My second post for May Monster Madness can be found HERE.

Since I'm now in the midst of May Monster Madness, I thought I'd take a look at the concept of monstrosity and how we present it in fiction.  As a writer, I frequently write about things that disturb me greatly, in part because I want to understand how the monstrous operates. 

In order for something to be considered monstrous, it needs to stand apart from us.  We naturally fear that which is different from us, after all.  That is often manifested in the form of an outwardly grotesque appearance.  Though monsters come in all shapes and sizes, they often reflect the horrors within with external markers.  Their ugliness repels us, warning us of their nature.  

Not all monsters fit this criteria, of course.  Some monsters are able to move undetected, playing on our fear of dangers we cannot see.  Some monsters can change appearances, meaning that we can't know what to expect from it.  These play on our fears of having danger sneak up on us.  This is the same reason why human beings often have a deeply ingrained fear of the dark.

And worst of all, the monster may take human form, meaning we have no idea who to trust.

The monster may also have appetites we consider unsavory.  The monster does the things that we cannot stand the thought of doing ourselves, or at the very least, the things we cannot stand to think of having done to us.  Yet we all know that, on some level, we have the potential to do horrible things, because we see some of our fellow human beings doing the unthinkable.

Background Image fire dragon 4/
RGBStock

Humans love telling stories about monsters because these stories help up confront the worst within ourselves.  We know the darkness is there, so we extract it and put it out there for the world to see.  We are terrified, repulsed, and yet we often cannot look away.  Hoping to see good, everyday people outwit or defeat the monster, we are reminded that we can overcome the darkness within ourselves.

Of course, there will always be those who cannot, or simply will not, overcome their darker impulses.  Some will embrace them, or merely act on them because they feel they have no choice.  In a world where we cannot be sure where danger hides, we enjoy being able to go to a movie, or to pick up a book, and find expression for our fears in an environment we know to be relatively safe. Though, after the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado, it's clear that even this activity may not always be as safe as we hope it will be.

Since we can't live our lives in a constant state of fear, even when we know anything bad can happen, we will continue to seek out fictional monsters.  They help us cope by reminding us that, even though monsters lurk within and without, we can defeat them.  We defeat them by living our lives the best we can, by being kind to others, and by refusing to give in to the fear.

The Weekend Philosopher: Humor

I don't feel like being too serious right now.  My husband worked overtime this weekend, leaving me alone with the kids in the process.  Given that my youngest is entering the terrible twos, and my oldest is quite adept at stirring up trouble when I'm not looking, I'm about to fall off my rocker.  They're finding every way they can to drive me crazy.  I love them to pieces, but they know exactly how to push my buttons.

This is how I felt after a long Saturday with my children.  The hairdo is even pretty accurate.

Source

It's a funny image, isn't it?  I know it made me laugh, which is one reason why I decided to share it.

I post this here in part to maintain my sanity.  When things get tough, or crazy, one of the best remedies is a good laugh.  It can keep you from falling apart. Sharing a good laugh with someone can quickly dispel and argument.  Humor may not be able to abolish the worst hurt or fix all the world's problems, but it's like sunscreen.  It helps shield you from the injury a bad situation may otherwise inflict on you.

Background Image courtesy of artur84 
/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

That's why I believe that comedians serve a critical function in society.  They make us laugh.  There is nothing frivolous or useless about that.  Some comedy may seem silly, and some comedy takes a more intelligent tone.  Satirists can take terrible realities and find the light side of them.  Physical comedy can make you wince and giggle simultaneously.

Everyone has their own comedic taste.  What makes one person laugh may simple make another groan.  Our common ground, I believe, lies in the fact that, no matter our taste or station in life, we share the need for laughter.

So, if you're having a bad day, take the time to seek out the humor in the situation.  It may make all the difference in the world.

The Weekend Philosopher: Judgment

The world is filled with judgments, many of them negative.  Whether we mean to or not, we make assumptions based on the way people dress, the color of their skin, their religion, where they come from, their job or lack thereof, how much money someone has, who someone falls in love with, and a variety of other factors.

Even when someone makes an actual mistake, I find it does well to remember this.

Background Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

None of us are perfect, and it's far too easy to dismiss someone without taking our own imperfections into consideration.  We are all human, we are all fallible.  That doesn't mean we don't have amazing things to offer.

Since we know judgment of others comes all too easily, we know also that people will judge us.  This can prompt us to look inward and think too critically of what we see.  Don't live according to what you fear other people will think about you.  If you go that route, you will only wind up making yourself unhappy.  No matter who you are or who you pretend to be, someone will judge you badly for it.  So if the negativity will come either way, why make yourself miserable by denying who you are?  Why judge yourself unworthy of being shared with the world?

Found on Sun Gazing Facebook page.

Don't dwell on those who think badly of you, and surround yourself with people who love and encourage you.  Life is too short to be wasted on the negativity, whether you aim it at yourself or people you don't know.  I've aimed a lot of negativity at myself over the years, and I can say from firsthand experience that it's a waste of time and energy.  I'd rather devote that time and energy to something more productive.

The Weekend Philosopher: Your Thoughts Build Your World

During the month of April, I've been doing short posts that pertain to my personal philosophy of life.  We all have a personal philosophy, whether we've taken the time to think about it or not.

We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can choose our attitude.  Our outlook.  The way we approach obstacles defines who we are.  I've known this for quite some time, though in practice, I haven't always been the best at choosing the positive outlook.  Still, the effort counts for something.

Source: The Idealist Facebook Page

Life will not always be what we want it to be, but when we think negatively about everything that happens to us, our entire world seems that much darker.  I know what it's like to have a bad time of things.  Other than the birth of my youngest son, the year 2011 was rather dark as a whole.  It was difficult to be happy when one bad thing after another kept coming along.  It felt like right as I was about to get back on my feet, something else would come along to knock me back down.

I think that's part of the reason why I started this blog in January 2012.  I wanted to do something positive, because I needed to be active in making things better.  Anyone can have a bad year, but not everyone uses that as motivation for change.  I want to be one of those people who grows stronger through the bad times.  We can't avoid everything bad in this world, and we won't succeed in all we do, but we can build good things in our lives by adopting a more positive outlook.  Instead of seeing a setback as a sign that we can't do something, we can make the choice to see it as an opportunity.

Somehow I feel one of my favorite movie quotes of all time applies here.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

-The Shawshank Redemption 

In your life, the choice is yours.  Which do you choose?

The Weekend Philosopher: Cosmic Place and Perspective

I'm a big fan of the cosmic perspective.  It's amazing how your perspective shifts when you go from looking at how you fit into your family, then into your community, then into your country, then into your world, and finally, into the cosmos as a whole.  Many people report a feeling of insignificance when they stop to think of how enormous the universe is.

Yet many of those who've lived in the cosmic experience don't succumb to terrible feelings of insignificance.  Take this quote from Carl Sagan.

Image By NASA, ESA, K. France (University of Colordo, Boulder), and P. Challis and R. Kirshner (Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I love these words because they remind me of one of my most important philosophies of life. Though I may disagree with others, I try to appreciate the differences that make us unique.  There is no reason we cannot get along.  We simply need to remain humble and recognize that the way we live our own life is not the only way.  It is not necessarily the right way.  It is simply the right way for us, as we are at this point in time and space.  As long as we try to treat others with respect and look at them as the unique, precious beings that they are (even if we may not enjoy spending time with them on a personal level), we can make our own home in the cosmos a better place.  We all have something special to contribute to the world.

Remember, we all come from the same building blocks of life.  We are all part of this grand thing we know as the universe.

I think this video encapsulates how I feel when I look at the night sky, and it does so in a far more eloquent way than I feel capable of at this moment.  So watch and enjoy!

When you look at the cosmos, do you feel small, or do you feel large and connected with all you see?  What's your unique perspective?

The Weekend Philosopher: Purpose in Life

Given that I'm in the midst of doing the A-Z Challenge with two blogs, I'm only doing short posts for the Weekend Philosopher this month.  I figured I would post quotes that in some way reflect my personal philosophy of life and say a few words about it.  We all have a personal philosophy, after all.

Here's a quote that speaks to me.

Background Image courtesy of Jennifer Ellison
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Personally, I feel we choose our own path in life.  Our passions draw us in a particular direction, and the way we feed those passions determine how far we go.  What mission have you set for yourself?  What overarching goal do you pursue?  Our answers are as unique as we are.

So, what happens when you accomplish that goal?  Do you settle down and say you've done all there is to do?  Of course not.  We may retire from a career.  A particular path may come to an end.  That's when we must forge ahead and carve out a new path.

You may retire from your job, but you do not retire from life.  Not as long as you're alive.

What is your personal philosophy?

The Weekend Philosopher: Linguistic Power

I was watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Parts 1 & 2) the other night.  One quote from the film, which I've already seen multiple times, stuck with me and inspired me to talk about language today.

Background Image courtesy of sattva
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Words do carry a lot of power.  When we're small children, the ridicule of our peers can sting far more than a scraped knee, no matter how many times adults try to assure us that words don't hurt.  Those who recite the old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" have also undoubtedly been wounded by words from time to time.  It's only natural that this should be the case.  As much as we try to shrug off the hurtful things that people say about us, they can at times pierce through our armor and wound us.

The right words can also help us aspire to greater things.  A rousing speech can band people together to fight for a common goal.

What grants language this creative and destructive power?

The answer is that we do.  As human beings, we created language as a way to communicate with the world.  We are isolated inside our own heads when we don't have effective means of communication.  Facial expressions and other physical gestures undoubtedly convey a lot on the emotional end of the spectrum, and this is quite valuable.  However, there is a limit to how much we can share through those means alone.

"The limits of my language are the limits of my world."

 -Ludwig Wittgenstein

Our language creates the bridge we build with others.  When we share a common language with someone, we can use our words to paint vivid images in the mind of another.  We can work together to build understandings of complex issues.  We build our culture together.

"One does not inhabit a country; one inhabits a language.  That is our country, our fatherland-and no other." 

-Emile M. Cioran

Words don't have a meaning independent of human interactions.  Languages are built in the same way we use them to build our cultural identities.  Words have meaning because people agree on their meanings.  Each time we speak a word to someone who shares our language, we confirm and hold true to that conferred meaning.  When we converse with one another, we must agree on the meanings of each word we say, otherwise we wouldn't make sense. 

Of course, the world is full of examples of misunderstandings, and those misunderstandings can be nasty at times.  They often occur when the meaning of a conversation is different for each of the participants.  People take offense, and often retaliate.  Sometimes when we converse with others, the offense is intended.  After all, we've all been a party in a situation where someone else intended to cut us with their words.

Yet, when the offense is one-sided, it can create just as great a rift as any intentional barb.

Background Image courtesy of Stuart Miles
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Anything can be taken wrong.  Anything can be seen as a personal attack.  In the realm of politics and religion, people hold their beliefs particularly dearly. These belief systems are fortified by words that hold meaning people may treasure.  

Of course, this post has gone on too long already.  This sounds like a good stopping point.  I'll pick up where I left off next week!

The Weekend Philosopher: Identities Formed

Identities are tricky things.  Set yourself the task of telling someone who you are.  I dare you.  It isn't so easy.

In this scene from Babylon 5, a mysterious man named Sebastian asks Delenn who she is.  She gives her name, her title, a job description.  None of these answers are deemed acceptable.  While these answers may be useful for someone who needs to know about you, they don't truly touch on who we are.

In answering the question of who we are, it helps to consider all the factors that make us who we are.  When someone asks us the question "Who are you?" they usually want to know your name, or maybe the names of relatives or friends so they have some idea of how you fit in to the social fabric of the world.  They may say a lot about your background that helped to influence your development as a person, but no one can claim to know you through this information alone.  These things are not you.  After all, when someone steals your identity and uses it to spend your hard earned money, they haven't actually stolen who you are, though they may have influenced who you will become by impacting the way you trust people and interact with them.

I am of the opinion that part of who we are is a function of biology and the way our brains develop before we're even born.  This belief is enforced by having my own children.  I can say that my two boys started out with distinct personalities. Jude was the loud, high-maintenance child, and Lyle was the laid-back child. These character traits were visible from birth and inform the way they each react to given situations.  Some aspects of our person are an integral part of us and cannot be changed.

Even so, we learn from the environment in which we are raised.  Nurture plays as significant a role as nature.  That's why I get frustrated by the nature vs. nurture argument.  I think they work together and it would be silly to disregard one entirely in favor of the other.  

Our parents work to instill a given set of values in us.  Even parents who are abusive and neglectful instill values in their kids, though those values may ultimately be more harmful than anything else.  From a young age, we learn to trust authority (or not to), we learn how to interact with others, we learn not to steal or lie.  It's no accident that most people end up with the same religious beliefs and honoring the same traditions as their parents.  Our culture directs our growth and development in very real ways.  

This is why societal attitudes as a whole toward things like race and sexual orientation change rather slowly.  There is a distinctly generational way in which these perceptions change, because those who are raised with one set of values find it difficult to shake them, or may find it undesirable to do so.  To alter the way you look at the world is to, in some way, alter who you are in relation to the world.  This can be a distinctly uncomfortable proposition to face.


John Dewey said, "The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action."

Not only are we formed by the people around us, we are also formed by the choices we make.  When something goes wrong, we can choose to give up, or we can choose to look on the bright side.  We choose which career path to follow. Maybe we pursue a childhood passion that was ignited by an inspiring teacher. Maybe we follow in our parents' footsteps.  Or maybe we choose a path other than what our families want for us as a kind of rebellion.  Or maybe we choose a safe path, leaving behind the things we truly want to do.  We make these choices due to a multitude of factors we may not recognize.  Our choices have power, but they are not made in a vacuum.

To show you what I mean, say a child is raised in a family of criminals.  They have an unstable home life growing up and their parents are in and out of jail.  It might seem easy for them to assume the values of their parents and follow the same path.  But maybe they want something different.  Maybe they make the choice to have something different.  They may follow a different path, but their choice is influenced by the pain of their childhood.  Or maybe their personal disposition, which they've had their whole lives, makes them yearn for something different.

I like to say that we're in constant dialogue with our environment.  It speaks to us, and we respond with our actions.  We change our world, and we change it back.  Nothing remains exactly the same.

Sorting out the factors that make us who we are can be quite difficult and confusing.  How have the events and people in your life helped make you who you are today?  Which influence do you think is the most powerful in determining who a person becomes?

Lastly, I wanted to share this powerful video.  It's a little over twelve minutes long, but it's worth the time.  I was bullied as a kid, and though I try not to let that fact get me down, I can still feel the effects of it.  Remember, the way you treat others has the power to affect their reality in ways you may not imagine.  I would encourage people to be a positive factor in a person's life rather than a negative one.