Stephen Fry Discusses the Language of Nazi Germany

I just saw this short video about language and how it can be used to coerce people into committing horrible atrocities.  It's true that language is a powerful force, and while we should be free to speak, we should also remain aware of the power of the words we use.  The old saying that "words will never hurt me" is simply not true.

Also, I think Stephen Fry is a brilliant human being.  I just had to say that.

The Weekend Philosopher: Linguistic Power

I was watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Parts 1 & 2) the other night.  One quote from the film, which I've already seen multiple times, stuck with me and inspired me to talk about language today.

Background Image courtesy of sattva
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Words do carry a lot of power.  When we're small children, the ridicule of our peers can sting far more than a scraped knee, no matter how many times adults try to assure us that words don't hurt.  Those who recite the old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" have also undoubtedly been wounded by words from time to time.  It's only natural that this should be the case.  As much as we try to shrug off the hurtful things that people say about us, they can at times pierce through our armor and wound us.

The right words can also help us aspire to greater things.  A rousing speech can band people together to fight for a common goal.

What grants language this creative and destructive power?

The answer is that we do.  As human beings, we created language as a way to communicate with the world.  We are isolated inside our own heads when we don't have effective means of communication.  Facial expressions and other physical gestures undoubtedly convey a lot on the emotional end of the spectrum, and this is quite valuable.  However, there is a limit to how much we can share through those means alone.

"The limits of my language are the limits of my world."

 -Ludwig Wittgenstein

Our language creates the bridge we build with others.  When we share a common language with someone, we can use our words to paint vivid images in the mind of another.  We can work together to build understandings of complex issues.  We build our culture together.

"One does not inhabit a country; one inhabits a language.  That is our country, our fatherland-and no other." 

-Emile M. Cioran

Words don't have a meaning independent of human interactions.  Languages are built in the same way we use them to build our cultural identities.  Words have meaning because people agree on their meanings.  Each time we speak a word to someone who shares our language, we confirm and hold true to that conferred meaning.  When we converse with one another, we must agree on the meanings of each word we say, otherwise we wouldn't make sense. 

Of course, the world is full of examples of misunderstandings, and those misunderstandings can be nasty at times.  They often occur when the meaning of a conversation is different for each of the participants.  People take offense, and often retaliate.  Sometimes when we converse with others, the offense is intended.  After all, we've all been a party in a situation where someone else intended to cut us with their words.

Yet, when the offense is one-sided, it can create just as great a rift as any intentional barb.

Background Image courtesy of Stuart Miles
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Anything can be taken wrong.  Anything can be seen as a personal attack.  In the realm of politics and religion, people hold their beliefs particularly dearly. These belief systems are fortified by words that hold meaning people may treasure.  

Of course, this post has gone on too long already.  This sounds like a good stopping point.  I'll pick up where I left off next week!

Blogspiration 20: When Words Redefine You

Blogspiration is a weekly meme hosted by GrowingUp YA& Saz101. The meme was created to help spark inspiration among bloggers, readers & writers alike. An inspirational quote/picture/video is posted weekly, on the day of the author's choosing, so that it may inspire creativity, conversation & just a little SOMETHING.

I should start by apologizing for the extra long post this week.  That's what happens when you feel super inspired to write something.  Some topics simply need to be addressed.

When I saw the video below earlier this week, I immediately knew what the subject of my Blogspiration had to be. There was no question in my mind that I needed to address this issue using my own unique perspective.  However, I also recommend you read this blog post Ron Kemp wrote about why he thinks the bullying issue is persisting the way it is.  I think he makes some good points that are worth our consideration.

I admire Jennifer Livingston (the news anchor from the video) for her eloquence and professionalism in addressing this issue.  I must say that the email this man sent to her was more politely worded than most personal insults I've seen.  Some have defended the email for that reason, saying that it was a piece of constructive criticism that addresses a serious problem in this nation: obesity. And yes, I won't lie.  Health issues like obesity are an issue, and we need to educate ourselves on how to be healthy.  But being healthy isn't all about what size jeans we wear.  In writing this email, the man also failed to realize that health isn't only about how well your body functions.  Mental health is just as important to who we are and how we live our lives.  When people erode our self-confidence, that has a huge impact on our overall well-being.  We shouldn't let ourselves be defined by bullies, but judgment can come from all directions, and it can be difficult to fend off all the verbal assaults.  Remember, bullying is also a problem in this country, just as much as health issues are.  So many young people take their lives because they see no way out.  In sending his email, this man might have actually felt he was doing a public service, but even if he did, he ran afoul of another issue in the process.

October is national anti-bullying month.  Bullying is a huge problem in this country.  There's one thing I've noticed too.  People don't always grow out of it. In the midst of an impending presidential election, I see people on both sides railing on each other, slinging every hurtful name they can think of.  Political disagreement seems to be a good enough reason to tear your fellow man apart. It's like all these so-called adults are on the playground again, screaming because they want everything to be their way.  And the issue of bullying has come up numerous times in this political climate, with some arguing it's a huge problem, and others insisting that it's no big deal.  

I know the old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  I think a lot of people believe that only physical violence causes scars, but nothing can be further from the truth.  That's why this video meant so much to me.  This woman handled the situation beautifully, and in so doing, she proved to me that she is indeed a great role model for young viewers.  So many people don't address the people around them with a fraction of the poise and confidence that she does.  Why shouldn't such an intelligent woman be considered a good role model?



This next video shows Meghan Tonjes, another young woman who responds to being called fat.  I admire her spunk.  Her speech quite direct and to the point. The language isn't as clean since this is an internet video and not taken from a news broadcast, but I think it's worth a watch.  My favorite line from this video has to be this: "Why does it hurt you if I don't hate myself?"  Thank you, Meghan, for your words.

These responses from two proud and beautiful women are the way we should all respond to those who would try to tear us down.  Unfortunately, that isn't always the case.  Personal circumstances vary, and we don't honestly know how long is took them to get to a place in their lives where they can feel so confident in themselves.

Background Image courtesy of luigi diamanti @ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It's true that the words of bullies can only redefine you if you let them, but I think too many people use this as an excuse to say hurtful things about whomever they want.  It's a way of dodging personal responsibility.  The truth of the matter is that words have tremendous power, especially when one's own sense of self has been systematically eroded.

A lot of the talk around bullying as of late has come down to freedom of speech and freedom of religion.  People say that they don't want those all important rights to be stifled.  Yes, these are important rights to that should be protected, but how do you balance those rights with the rights of the bullied?  I'll offer my take on this.  Whether you agree or disagree with what I have to say, this is an important conversation to have.

There are plenty of popular reasons to gate people these days.  When people take issue with the Muslim kid in class for his beliefs, it bothers me, though I won't try to say those people should not be allowed to speak at all about their feelings.  When I hear politicians say that kids should have a right to tell the gay kid in class that they are living a sinful life, I can both agree and disagree. Personally, I don't agree that being gay is sinful, but I know plenty of people genuinely do.  I respect your right to have an opinion and your right to voice it. Unfortunately, most of the taunts I've heard in my life have nothing to do with such sincerely held religious beliefs.  That tends to be the excuse people fall back on to justify behavior that is anything but holy.  Sending threatening messages on Facebook, and getting your group of friends together to shout slurs at someone, is not an exercise of religious freedom.  It's being a jerk.  Much like calling someone fat isn't typically an attempt to motivate them.  Let's be honest. People typically say it to be mean.

Using what I've learned over the years, I think I can answer Meghan's question: "Why does it hurt you if I don't hate myself?"  The answer isn't even all that complicated, though it's a question that all would-be bullies should ask themselves before they make the choice to demean others. In my experience, bullying stems mostly from personal insecurity.  By targeting others and making them feel small, they mask their own feelings of self-doubt.  And the effect is even stronger when the bully can recruit others to join in.  The bullied person is isolated from the rest, and the bully gains a sense of belonging.

Freedom of speech is so important, as I've said many times, but mutual respect is also crucial.  If we have the freedom to speak, we also have a corresponding responsibility for the words we put out there.  This does not mean we sacrifice our opinions.  It means that we look not just at our own interests, but the interests of others as well.  Everyone deserves to have a chance at living a happy life, regardless of how that life may differ from your own.

Just because you have the right to say something, that doesn't make it right for you to say it.

Now, none of us can avoid every little offense our words may trigger, nor should we.  It's impossible and exhausting.  We should simply remember how much it can hurt to be targeted in an aggressive way.  There are ways to express our feelings in a civilized and respectful way.  Having the freedom to speak doesn't mean we need to club the people we don't like over the head with our words.

Now, here's where I get real about myself.  I have a confession to make.  We all have those things that we bottle up inside, and if we're not careful, they can eat away at us.  It's safe to say that I was bullied as a child.  Much as I've tried to deny it, the emotional scars are still there.  I often find myself questioning whether I'm good enough.  I think I got involved in the Blogspiration meme just as much for self-inspiration as anyone else's.  Since I was little, there were always people telling me that I'm not good enough.

Growing up in a small town, there was no way to escape the reputation.  I hate to admit this, but as much as I loved my mother, and still do even though she's gone now, she had her problems.  Everyone I went to school with knew she was an alcoholic.  In fact, from elementary school all the way through high school, people made it a point to remind me of that fact.  As if I could have forgotten. Things got so bad for me that I felt like I had nowhere to go.  My mom's drinking greeted me at night when I came home from school, and the school day left me to dodge verbal assault after verbal assault.  I even got physically assaulted a couple of times.  That's why I kept my writing notebook with me everywhere I went.  It was my portable fantasy world. Whenever I needed a place to escape, all I had to do was open that notebook and create that new world.  The bullying helped shape who I am in positive ways. Yet, the demons that erode my self-confidence held on for the ride.  Even now, I find myself struggling with them.

Now, I can forgive my mom for her mistakes, because I know that she meant well.  Though she wasn't perfect, she gave me a lot of good things, like my sense of humor.  I choose to honor the good above the bad, because that's what makes me stronger.

I can even forgive my bullies, because I understand how easy it was for them to fall into that trap.  I even lashed out at people in a similar way, because I didn't want to be alone anymore.  So, I acknowledge the ways the bullying shaped me, and I want to toss out the bad effects that came from that too.  The problem is, it's easier said than done.

In writing this blog entry, I am attempting to make that choice now.  The doubts pull on me, threatening to hold me back from my dreams.  I am declaring here that I don't want to let them.  In sharing this, I want to tell those demons that they don't have any power over me.  I also want to share this with anyone who has been or is being bullied.  I know it hurts, and it can be devastating to you.

Bullying can even destroy your whole life if you hang on to it.  Even years after the bullies have disappeared from your life, the words remain.  Just remember, horrible as those words are, the power is ultimately in your hands.  No matter how hard it may be, you need to make the choice.  You can either let the words continue to define you, or you can take ownership over your life.  Let me stress this.  It's YOUR life, and you are worth the effort to live it well.

Background Image courtesy of Phaitoon @ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Language of the Heart

Today I wasn't sure what I wanted to talk about.  Sometimes topics don't readily present themselves, and part of having a schedule is forcing yourself to produce writing whether it comes naturally or not.

I decided to reach for a source of inspiration.  For me, a quote works well for that.

Yes, I use quotes a lot, but I enjoy analyzing them.  I don't simply look at what someone said and go "Yeah, that must be true.  This person said it, after all."  If we all treated a quote this way, they would indeed be absolutely useless.  I know I've read quotes about quotes (which is enough to screw with your mind all on its own), and many of them insinuate that using quotes is a form of intellectual laziness.  If you automatically take the quote as gospel and accept it without reflection, then yes, you are being lazy.

When I find a quote that speaks to me, I like to consider why that is the case. Does it say something that feels right?  Does it infuriate me?  What is it about my personal experiences and beliefs that ignites my reaction?  In exploring that reaction and forming my own opinion about the quote in question, I am flexing my intellectual muscles.  There is nothing lazy about the ways I use quotes in my writing.

My advice for using quotes is simple.  Don't feel bad about reaching for the source of inspiration.  The art you create while drawing inspiration from something else is still original, and it's an extension of you.  The source of inspiration in no way invalidates what you've made, and you shouldn't let anyone tell you differently.

Wow.  In picking a quote for today, I raised a topic of conversation separate from the reaction I intended to showcase here.

I love this quote, and it spoke to me the first time I saw it.  I'll tell you what it says to me.  Language is a powerful thing.  It isn't simply something we use.  Our native language is who we are, and it's the way we interact with the world. Everything around us is defined in our minds by a name.  As we grow up, we learn language and the realities of the world concurrently.  Children are shown an object and learn the name for it at the same time.  Name and image become one.  The identity of the object is contained within the word we use to describe it.  When we speak to someone in our native language, the conversation flows easily, because the language of our thoughts corresponds with the words we hear and utter in return.  We can appreciate the words exchanged with such a depth of understanding because those words are part of our identity.  The nuances, the inflections, the color and flavor of the discussion can be savored because we don't struggle to understand the most basic meanings.  It isn't about simply interpreting the words, so we're free to go further than the basics.

I know for a fact that speaking in a second language is much different.  If a child learns multiple languages early on, they can freely change between them without difficulty.  However, for those of us who learned later on in life, it's far more complicated.  I took Spanish for four years in high school, and I always did well in the subject.  I learned a lot, and one of the things I took away from the experience was an understanding of why the above quote is true.  Before speaking, I formed the thought in English and consciously translated it in my head.  The words always come first in English.  It takes significant effort to translate them and send them out into the world.  Then, whenever I got a response in Spanish, I had to listen more carefully and consciously align those words with the English version.  When you spend so much time focusing on this process, you're working from intellect and not instinct.  Communication is more than possible, but that barrier is always there.

You think first in your native language.  There's no way around that, because it's written into your mind.  Your world is written in it.  You exist as you do in your world due to your linguistic relationship within it.  This is part of the reason why I love language as much as I do.

I've gone on too long already, and there's plenty more to say.  Does anyone have any thoughts about this issue?  How might linguistic differences create conflict in the world?  How can we find ways around misunderstandings?

The Insecure Writer's Support Group: September 2012

Welcome to the Insecure Writer's Support Group, September 2012 edition! Wow. Where has the year been going?

For those few of you out in the blogosphere who don't know of Alex J. Cavanaugh (and if you don't, I suspect you must be living under a rock), he is the ninja responsible for this remarkable support group.  As writers, we need a community we can turn to for guidance and discussion.  I have many supportive friends and family members who are there for me, but most people don't understand all the insecurities that a writer faces on a daily basis.  That's why it's so essential to have a place like this to air our concerns and frustrations.

Normally I would do a separate Wednesday post, but I've been busy, so I'll have this count as my normal Wednesday post as well.  After all, it's my blog and I'll do what I want to!

Before I indulge in my current insecurity, I want to take a look at what's been going well.  The past month has been a good one for me in terms of blogging.  

• I had 1,488 page views for the month of August.  That may not be anything even remotely resembling celebrity status,  but it is a new monthly record for me.  This makes it worth mentioning for me.  
• I also gained 14 new followers, which puts me up to 134.  I have a long way to go, but considering I only started blogging this past January, I don't think that's too bad.  
• In August, I also wrote 7 new flash fiction pieces, one of which I submitted to a magazine.  It was ultimately rejected, but I've chosen to take it in stride.  It always does wound the ego a little bit, but it's also an unavoidable part of the literary life.  Writers wear rejection letters as battle wounds.
• I also planned out my writing goals for the next 5 years.

This last point is, by far, most daunting part of what I've done in the past month. My 5 year plan details what I want to write and submit for publication.  It's basically my plan of attack for crawling to the moon (see THIS POST to see what this reference means).  Believe me, I have enough WIPs to keep me busy for the next 5 years, so the 5 year plan may not be as unrealistic as it sounds.

Now I must proceed with the first step in my grand master plan.  As I've mentioned here before, I plan to self-publish Prices Paid sometime in November.  It's a compilation of short stories that I've written since I embarked on this blogging adventure.  I have a lot of work ahead of me to get it done in time, but I have a list of all the pieces I want to use and a timeline for writing and revising that should keep me on track.  I just have to use my new level of determination to make it to the finish line.

Why November?  Well, I started blogging at the beginning of the year, so it would be nice to accomplish such a large goal before the year is over.  Besides, a lot of people think the world is going to end in December of this year.  I certainly don't believe that's the case. I mean, the Mayan calendar had to end at some point, right?  Still, why not use whatever excuse I can to push myself?  It just might be good for me in the end.

Of course, there are the corresponding insecurities.  Once I put my work out there, it's out there.  People will critique it.  Some will inevitably hate it.  After all, you can't please everyone.  The bad reviews will come, and I'm concerned about how I will handle them.  At least a bad review means someone has read my work, but that knowledge probably won't make it sting any less.  Words are powerful.  We writers depend on that fact to do what we do.  The words we write have power, but so do the ones that others write about us.  The words of others can impact both sales and self-confidence.

After all, the things we write are quite personal to us.  My writing springs from my deepest fears and dreams.  My stories are born out of a need to say something important, and I feel so close to the material that a criticism of it can feel like a criticism of me.  This is something I've been working on by posting my work on this blog.  I'm trying to develop that thick skin writer's so desperately need, but I don't want to seem so indifferent to the opinions of others that I come across as arrogant.  I fear that people mistake that thick skin as arrogance a lot, and I don't want that to be the way people see me.

So far, I think I've done okay with the critiques I've received so far, but I worry it'll be different once I've published my book.  Once it's published, it's out there in the world that a blog post isn't.  A blog post can be easily edited and deleted. A published book is more permanent, and it's the thing that writers seem to hang their hopes on.  If it's in fact more difficult to deal with negative opinions once you've crossed that threshold into publication, how will I handle it?  Will I read reviews?  Will bad reviews discourage me?  Will I ever feel like quitting because of the criticism?

I guess only time will tell.  I have to take the risk to know the answers to those questions.

Free Speech: Big Brother is Listening

In thinking about what to write about for this first installment of Worldly Wednesday, it occurred to me that there were so many choices available to me that I thought my brain might self-destruct.  Then, in looking through recent posts from other blogs I follow, I stumbled across this video posted by Rob from Commonwealth Commentary. This blog is worth checking out as he features interesting political stories.

Anyway, watch the video and ask yourslef "Is Homeland Security already watching me?"



If Homeland Security wasn't already watching me, they probably are now that I've posted this.  I'm guessing they probably don't want this information out because people who are actually up to something might start using new code words to communicate.  In the world we live in, who knows?

The world changed for Americans after 9/11.  There's no escaping that fact.  While I agree the government should make it a priority to protect its citizens from genuine terrorist threats, have we as a nation gone too far in our suspicion?  In America we have freedom of speech thanks to the 1st Amendment.  We are still free to say these kinds of words online, but if we do, we may be sacrificing our privacy.  Should we be okay with that?

I can say this much.  I'm not comfortable with the far-reaching nature of this list.  It seems to stretch too far.  How many people are unwittingly bringing themselves under government scrutiny while checking out the latest news stories about the wars we have going around the world?  How many people looking for pork recipes or deciding where to go on vacation are being monitored?

I've often said that we need to choose our words carefully, because words have power. Yet, even the most innocuous of words can make you seem suspect these days. One can argue that if you're participating in social media, you're already voluntarily surrendering your privacy.  However, it feels different to have a government official poring over my online history than it does to have regular, everyday people reading what I have to say.  The government has the power to do much more damage to your life than most everyday people.

Here's a quote for you to ponder.

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have."
 
-Gerald Ford 
Presidential address to a joint session of Congress (12 August 1974) 

A Sister's Perspective on Bullying

I've said it many times: words have power, especially in the age of social media where those words can spread like fire for the whole world to see.  Now, I'm limited in my capacity to say how hurtful those words can be.  You can only learn how painful it is to be tormented by your peers through hearing personal stories like this one.  Here in my home state of Iowa, 14 year old freshman Kenneth Weishuhn told his community that he was gay.  His friends turned against him, and about a month later on April 14, he committed suicide.

Here is what his older sister Kayla had to say about her brother.




Think before you speak. Consider the fact that the person you're tearing down is a real, flesh-and-blood human being. They have feelings, and they need to feel loved just like anyone else.  And sometimes, when someone is surrounded by rejection from all sides, the love they still get from their family isn't enough to combat the pain.

People may say they didn't intend for things to go this far, but that doesn't change the fact that they did.  There are far too many stories like this one.  There's no longer any room for the excuse "Well, I didn't know it could end this way."  If you've ever read or seen the news, you know.  And believe me, caving in to the pressure to fit in right now won't drown out the regret you may feel later for hurting someone, even if it doesn't go as far as suicide.

Just think before you actively harm someone this way.  Say what you will, but know what can happen and ask "Is it worth this?"

This story, as well as the countless others like it, must remind us of what can go wrong.

Bullies and the Beaten Down

I just want to say this much.  I HATE it when people bully others who are different from them.  Whether it's due to race, economic background, sexual orientation, personal interests, or a child's inability to relate easily with others, tormenting people needlessly is a despicable act.  Young children and even adults can become overwhelmed with the negativity thrust upon them, and some of these people resort to suicide.  It's a serious problem.


On the one hand, I think legislation aimed at this problem may be a good thing, but when it comes to 1st Amendment rights, things get a little bit tricky.  The last thing in the world I want is for us as a nation to lose our ability to express ourselves freely.  That is part of what defines us as a people.  If we overly restrict our speech in the realm of electronic media, as many say AZ House Bill 2549 would, we all ultimately lose.  The bill would make it unlawful to  use language intended to "terrify, intimidate, threaten, harass, annoy or offend."  Now, to be fair, the law does attempt to make it clear that the person issuing such speech must have intent to harass the target, and the target should have a reasonable fear for the safety of themselves or those close to them.  If you want to determine for yourself whether this is the case, here is one article that briefly addresses the concerns that have been raised.


Even so, is that enough?  Who judges?  We all know judgments can be flawed.  We're all human, and there are always those who will twist any situation to their benefit.  The democratic process is made possible by our freedom of speech.. We lose that, and we could lose everything else.


Legislation aimed at disarming bullies treads a thin line, and any line crossed to benefit one group can ultimately be turned against them as well.  If the 1st Amendment is violated, that impacts us all.  Such bills need to be very specific in their language and should undergo rigorous review before they are passed.  The public should have every opportunity to see such bills through their various stages of revision.  We are, after all, the ones who ultimately hold our legislators accountable for the work they do.


I believe schools have the right to regulate bullying through policies that address the unique situations of their district.  Students have a right to free speech, but the school should also remain free of tormenting behavior that adversely impacts the learning environment.  These policies are left to the school board and parents to decide.  We need to make it clear that harassment is not acceptable.  If people actively and consistently stand up for the bullied, we wouldn't need policy to begin with.  In our schools and in our towns, we can see the difference between off-handed comments or one time statements of opinion and bullying.  With laws, we leave the decision to someone who may not have seen all the facts.  In our lives, we will see the facts if we choose to look out for them.  When local policies cross a line or are clearly not doing enough to address a serious issue, then the government may step in, but in a limited capacity.


I know I've said this before, but what bullies need to understand is that hurtful words have a power they may not fully understand.  I have to believe that those who bullied people to the point of suicide didn't intend for things to go that far.  And for those bullies that genuinely hope to inflict real pain on others and enjoy it for their own sick benefit, the fruits of your actions will catch up to you.  And this is not a threat.  It is a statement of fact.  People will only tolerate the brutally hurtful for so long.  You have the right to say mean things to someone, of course, and that should remain the case.  However, that doesn't make what you're saying right.  You should know when you're crossing the line, you should understand there are consequences for that, and you should know what they are.  Before you say something, you should be willing to accept those consequences.  Words have staying power, especially in a world with the internet.  Don't claim ignorance when something you said is used against you.  This is a risk you take when you utilize your 1st Amendment rights.


Now, to briefly address another concern I've heard.  Some have said that bullying aimed at homosexual students in particular should not be regulated because it would infringe upon the religious liberties of those who believe homosexuality is wrong.  I must say this: there is a difference between expressing a deeply held belief in a civilized manner and being openly hateful to someone.  When you're harassing someone for something like sexual orientation, even when it does correspond with a deeply held belief, you can't convince me it isn't hateful to do so.  We need to learn to love people and be kind to one another, even when someone lives in a way that violates your own conscience.  Bullying them won't save them.  If anything, it will only make them feel more isolated and alone.  And in those instances, they may not even be able to turn to their own family.  Love and kindness should be the default position anyone takes.


So what do you do if you're bullied and feel like there's no way out?  First of all, you need to find someone you can talk to.  Even when there is no policy in place that can protect you, the best protection you can offer yourself is the support of others.  This can be family, friends, anyone who will listen.  And for those of you who can't find anyone you know to listen to you, you can turn to the online community.  Yes, cyber bullying is an epidemic problem with social media, but that same social media can be your ally is you know how to use it.  The story of a girl who used Reddit to stop cyber bullying shows how people can band together to stop this kind of behavior before someone gets hurt.  We can take our own power back. 


While I doubt anyone would want to talk to me, I want to make it clear that I am also willing to listen.  I've been bullied, so I understand the pain all too well.  It can wreak havoc on your self-esteem, but you don't need to be alone.  I'm putting this out there because I want to reach people with my point of view, and if I weren't willing to accept the consequences of that, I'd be a hypocrite.  Plus, I really do care.

WTF?

I just want to say WTF to a high school in Indiana that expelled senior Austin Carroll for posting a tweet containing the notorious F-bomb.  Now, if this was done in class, I can see the school having reason to be upset, although I think even in that case expulsion would still be going too far.  The tweet was posted in his home well outside school hours (about 2:20am), and he wasn't even using the four letter expletive to insult the school or anyone who works or goes there.  Instead, he was merely discussing the versatility of the term.  If anything, he could have called it an impromptu English assignment.  He clearly has a passion for language.

Granted, he used a school owned computer to post the offending tweet, but even so, students are still protected by the 1st Amendment.  If his activities weren't being disruptive to the learning environment of the school in any way, why should administrators be so upset?  Words are powerful, yes, but is this one word justification enough for all this?  I think not.

The Power of Words: Personal Responsibility

We’ve been hearing a lot about Rush Limbaugh and other personalities that have used defamatory and degrading language against women.  Bill Maher is an example from the other side of the political spectrum.  Thanks to the wonderful thing that is the 1^st amendment, we have the freedom to say things, but there are responsibilities that go along with the words we choose.  Words are powerful and have consequences, both intended and unintended.  We must accept those consequences, and we must think carefully about what we want to say.  I discussed this at length last week.

That being said, I’d like the present the other side of things.  As the person on the receiving end of harsh insults, we feel hurt and angry.  It’s all too easy to take insults to heart, especially if we hear them enough.  That’s why children who are bullied often experience low self-esteem.  You hear something said about you often enough, you start to believe it.

However, there comes a point when you need to take responsibility for who you are and how you feel about yourself.  Words injure, but only if we let them.  Half the power that words have comes from the person on the receiving end.  It makes no sense to yield all power to a bully by letting their word s damage you.  Try to be strong.  Stand up for yourself by refusing to believe what they say.  Show them that they’re wrong and that they won’t break you.

Half the time, the person tearing you down doesn’t really know you.  If they don’t know you, why should they play a role in defining you?

The Power of Words: The Rush Limbaugh Edition

Lately I’ve been angry about something, and it feels good to finally be getting it out there.  This has nothing to do with my writing, but it does deal with words and the power they hold.  I’m sure we’ve all heard by now how Rush Limbaugh spent three days on his radio show talking about Sandra Fluke and her testimony before Congress.  She made the point that the pill can potentially be expensive for someone in college, and that the pill is often used to treat a medical condition.  These things are true.  Are there cheap off brand versions available?  Yes, of course.  Then again, your doctor decides on your prescription, and some of the off brands don’t work for everyone.  If you’re one of these women, costs can add up.  That being said, should insurance companies be mandated to pay for these prescriptions in their entirety?  This is the question we should be focusing on.  Instead, this issue has turned into a mudslinging match of the worst kind.

Now, as a writer, I’m glad that we have freedom of speech.  It’s a wonderful thing, and every time I hear about people wanting to impose limitations on that freedom, I get very nervous.  If we lose that right, we may as well give up everything else as far as I’m concerned.  You can’t have real freedom if you can’t express yourself.  And when Rush Limbaugh made his comments about Sandra Fluke, calling her a “slut” and a “prostitute,” he was certainly exercising his right to free speech.  You’ll never catch me disputing that.  Does that make what he said right?  No.

Let me explain my position.  I never subscribed to the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  That’s complete crap.  Bullies say horrible things precisely because they hurt.  The best we can do is not let the mean-spirited words of others get under our skin, which is much easier said than done.  I know this all too well.  The bullying I endured as a kid helped shape me into the person I am today.

So I can say this with confidence.  Words are powerful.  They can persuade, inspire, create, and destroy.  “The pen is mightier than the sword.”  This is a saying I can get behind, except, of course, someone’s actually making fun of me from the corner of a room while someone’s impaling me with a sword.  That is one instance where I may be inclined to change my position on this.

Rush used the words he did because he knew they were laced with powerful meaning.  He knew they would get a reaction.  I’m sure he said what he did to be funny, and many people did find it funny.  I won’t dispute that either.  However, his choice of words angered many, including me, because it suggested a belief that many no longer find acceptable:  if a woman is sexually active, it’s okay to call her a slut.  It’s not, in my humble opinion.  He even suggested that he’d pay to give girls aspirin to put between their knees.   Yes, sex is something that should be handled with careful consideration, but let’s not pretend that having sex immediately invalidates her right to be treated with dignity and respect.   Women shouldn’t be denigrated over their sexual choices, especially if men won’t be. 

A definite misstep was his calculation of how much sex Sandra must have been having to spend $3000 in three years of school.  First of all, she said it could cost that much, not that it did for her personally.  Second, we’re talking about the birth control pill. I never thought I’d have to take the time to say this, but you take one pill a day.  The cost is the same no matter how many times you have sex over that three year period.  While reading the comments sections of articles dealing with this issue, I was stunned by how many people didn’t seem to know this.  Third, he said that the taxpayers would be her pimps for paying her to have sex.  Tax dollars wouldn’t cover the cost of contraception.  Insurance companies would.  If anything, insurance premiums would go up, and I've even heard just as many people saying that they'd actually go down due to the decrease in unwanted pregnancies.  I don’t know how it would all work because I’m not an expert at these things, nor am I a fortune teller.  However, if we’re going to have the conversation, I’d at least like to get it right about what's actually at stake.

What Limbaugh did in using this language, besides hurting Fluke’s feelings, is distract us from the issue at hand.  There are a lot of valid questions to be asked, but they’re not really being asked or answered because of the controversy that sprung forth from this.  In an article entitled “Pills For Sluts?: Sixquestions for Rush Limbaugh about sex,promiscuity, and contraception,” William Saletan talks about some of the questions Limbaugh has raised, whether advertently or inadvertently, and should discuss.

1.What’s the problem with contraceptive insurance: socialism or promiscuity?

2. How much sex is too much? 

3. Is contraception a sex enabler?

4. What consequences should a woman face for having sex?

5. Is pregnancy prevention a legitimate medical need?

6. What responsibility should men bear?

These are good questions, and I recommend you read his article to hear what he has to say about them.  There is also, of course, the question that brought this about in the first place.  Does requiring religious institutions to provide insurance coverage that includes contraception infringe on religious liberty.

I’m all for having a good, honest debate about these issues, and I want to know people’s thoughts on these questions.  However, the way that Rush handled it in no way promoted civil discourse.  Of course, that wasn’t his intention.  He’s an entertainer, and as such, we have to expect this from him.  However, he also bears a responsibility in choosing his words.  People turn to him for information as well, so while he’ll undoubtedly put his spin on it according to his personal opinion, as he is free to do, responsibility also indicates he should at least be factual in the information he provides.  He’s doing more than entertaining, after all.

Now, do I believe he should be fired for what he said?  No.  His words may have been irresponsible, or merely poorly chosen, but he is free to say these things whether we like it or not.  That’s the beauty of America.  At the same time, he is representing his employer, so they are free to fire him if they want to.  Just as his advertisers are free to keep walking away if they want.  The advertisers who have walked away understand the power of his words as well as anyone, and they don’t want the beliefs reflected in those words to cast a bad light on them.  Rush and other people like him have to be prepared for this kind of reaction, because that’s the responsibility that comes along with his word choices.

Now, he’s since apologized for his words.  Is he sincere?  Or is he bowing to the pressure?  The fact that he went on a three day long rant before backing down suggests an answer, but who knows?  He may actually mean it.  As an entertainer, he pushes the envelope further because he needs to hold an audience.  Sincere or not, he still has to live with the consequences of what he said.

I only hope this mess settles down so we can answer the important questions that have been raised.  We need debate.  We need solutions.  As much fun as it’s been arguing over whether Rush went to far, let’s focus now on what actually matters.

Racism and Language

Given that today is a day to celebrate the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and all that he worked for, I decided to spend some time reflecting on racism, and racist language specifically.  As human beings, we often fear that which is different from us, even when those differences are only skin deep.  Granted, there are always going to be cultural differences between races, often stemming from socioeconomic factors that are influenced by racism in society, but today we must remember that we are all human beings.  As members of the human race, we have more in common biologically than not, and we can no longer afford the delusion that one group of humans are superior to another.  It’s too dangerous, too divisive.

Now, that being said, one tool used by people who wish to perpetuate racism is language.  We’ve all heard racial slurs, some of which are so pervasive in our culture that I hardly need to list them here.  Now, those words have the power to inflict damage on those for whom they are intended for one important reason.  As a society, we agree that they have power.  Our belief in their power to wound is precisely what gives them that ability.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not trying to diminish the pain inflicted by saying this.  As a child who was frequently bullied, I know how much words can hurt.  I merely think it’s an important point to understand.  If we do, and someone tries to diminish us by slinging hurtful words at us, we can take the power back by refusing to let those words hinder or define us.  Easier said than done, I know, but it’s a step.

However, much of the burden should also fall upon the aggressors.  People can feel the intention behind words.  When an aggressor says a hurtful word with undisguised hurt, it can be terribly difficult to shake that off.  I don’t want people who hurl racial slurs, or other types of hurtful words, to use the excuse “It’s their fault, they’re the ones who chose to be hurt by what I said.”  Yes, we give permission to others to hurt us, but that should not be taken as license to say whatever you want whenever you want to say it.  In America we have freedom of speech, and believe me, I’m forever grateful for that.  However, freedom does not mean freedom from responsibility.  Words have great transformative power, and as such, we have a responsibility for the impact of our words.  When we speak, we should speak carefully.  We should keep the well-being of others in mind.  Civility is the key to making life better for all of us.

Racist language is a problem for everyone, because whether you use it or not, it’s a part of your world.  If you’re not actively fighting to change it and the impact it has, you’re allowing it to continue through passive acceptance.  That doesn’t make you bad, but it does make you responsible.

Thoughts on Politics and the Power of Words

As I sit here, tracking the results of the New Hampshire Republican primary, I can’t help but meditate on the power of words.  I live in Iowa as well, so the caucuses of a week ago are also fresh in my mind.  As a registered Independent and obstinate person who cannot agree enough with either side to affiliate myself entirely with one or the other, I find myself in a great position.  I don't have worry about the pressure to adopt the rhetoric of any party.  I have the freedom to pick and choose.  However, I won’t claim to be immune to the rhetoric flying around.  Let’s face it, even the most intelligent, savvy people find themselves susceptible to it from time to time. 

The speeches, constructed from carefully selected, emotionally charged words, are a crucial part of one of the longest, most expensive, and grueling job application processes in the world.  Yes, we can look at a candidate’s prior record to get an idea of who they are and what they believe in, but let’s be honest.  While many politically active people care enough to put in the time and energy to conduct this kind of research, most citizens make their decision based solely upon a candidate’s performance in a debate or a speech that they found particularly moving.  Words can be crafted to paint any facts in a new light, or to obscure inconvenient, potentially damaging, truths.  That is the nature of politics, and whether we like it or not, language itself can be very political at times.

I say this because I have strong feelings about the state of politics these days.  What can I say?  The division in this country seems to be larger than ever, and I find myself inexorably trapped in the middle of two diametrically opposed sides.  As the two drift further away from one another, driven by animosity and fervent belief in party dogma, we see that division portrayed through bitter words.  Issues, framed through carefully coined terms such as “pro life” vs. “pro choice,” illustrate with clarity what each side believes is at stake.  And as political attitudes evolve, we can see how the evolution of the rhetoric has directed it.  After all, in a nation where people are looking for a way out of economic difficulty, we’re seeing the word “moderate” devolve into a nasty word, at least as far as the GOP is concerned.  Even putting  my own political beliefs aside, I can’t help but find this fascinating, and terrifying, at the same time.  Words can be a wonderful beacon of civilization.  They can be art.  They are capable of portraying, and perpetrating, the best and worst that humanity has ever known.  It’s all in the hands and motivations of those who wield those words.

As a writer, I can’t deny that I live in awe of that power, and I hope that I can do well with it.  I want to live up to the responsibility that comes along with language.  And I also hope that people read, and watch, the world around them with a critical eye.  Sometimes you should allow language to move you, because being swept away by beautiful words can be a wonderful thing.  Yet, in the public arena, we need to be careful, because that kind of unquestioning submission can be extremely dangerous.