Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts

Friday, December 28, 2018

Celebrate the Small Things-December 28, 2018



It's Friday! Let's Celebrate the Small Things with Lexa Cain! I am her co-host.

We had a wonderful Christmas here. The kids loved their gifts, and we got to spend some good quality time with family. We had no snow on the ground for Christmas, which is unusual for where we live. I didn't mind, though. It made for safer driving conditions than we've had in the past, which was nice.

I had an ultrasound the day after Christmas, and I'm excited to announce that I'm having a baby girl! That means I'll have two boys and two girls. I'll have a full house in 2019, won't I?

As far as writing goes, I'm feeling pretty positive at the moment. Writers often have ups and downs. We may be surging in confidence one month, only to be plagued with doubt the next. Since I'm currently in a positive place, I plan to take advantage of that and get some good work done.

Lastly, I can't believe it's the last Friday of 2018! The year has flown by for me. I'm looking forward to 2019, though. I hope it'll be a good year.


What would you like to celebrate?


Friday, March 30, 2018

Celebrate the Small Things-March 30, 2018



It's Friday!  Let's Celebrate the Small Things with Lexa Cain!  I am her co-host.

Happy Easter to all those who celebrate the holiday!  I'm taking my kids to an Easter egg hunt tomorrow morning, and they're all excited about that.  Zoe is getting big enough to start participating in such things, so we'll see how she does.


My son Jude turns 9 next Friday, which doesn't seem at all possible.  He asked for an inflatable boat and a fishing pole for his birthday.  That boy is already looking forward to summer.

The healthy eating has been going well, though it's so hard to say no to things sometimes.  So far my husband and I have resisted the temptation of junk food, but it's going to be extra hard this weekend with Easter candy in the house.

The WRiTE CLUB submission period ends on April 1st, so if you're thinking of submitting, it's time to get that done!


What would you like to celebrate?

Friday, November 24, 2017

Celebrate the Small Things-November 24, 2017



It's Friday!  Let's Celebrate the Small Things with Lexa Cain!  Tonja Drecker and I are her co-hosts.

I'm a little late posting this, partly because I'm lacking in motivation after such a busy day yesterday.  After a full pot of coffee, I'm starting to finally get on the ball with what I need to get done today.

Zoe had a great birthday, and she's learned how fun it is to open gifts.  She loves wrapping paper, but most kids do, don't they?  Here are some pictures I took of her on her birthday.  Isn't she cute?




I ate way too much food for Thanksgiving, but a lot of the dishes I attacked included fresh vegetables and fruits, so at least I got some good nutrition in there.

I've made some good progress on the short story draft I've been meaning to work on.  It's almost half done, and it would be cool if I could finish that draft by the end of the weekend.  I have no idea how likely that is, but we'll see how it goes.

What would you like to celebrate?

Friday, November 17, 2017

Celebrate the Small Things-November 17, 2017



It's Friday!  Let's Celebrate the Small Things with Lexa Cain!  Tonja Drecker and I are her co-hosts.

We bought a used car last weekend.  It's an SUV that has enough room to haul the kids and various other things, which is nice.  Since it is used, it needs a few repairs done.  We already got one of those fixes done, and the others will be completed as time and money allow.

We also got a new washer and dryer.  Our old washing machine was completely dead, and our old dryer took about six hours to actually dry anything, so it was past time to get them.  We also got both for the price we'd been expecting to pay for one, so that was great!  I'm definitely happy about that.

Zoe's first birthday is on Wednesday!  I can't believe she's going to be one year old already.  She's been proving her age by walking across our living room for the past week.  She's still wobbly, but she's getting better at it every day.

To all of my fellow American blogging friends, Happy Thanksgiving!  I'm going to be eating entirely too much food over the next week.


Friday, July 1, 2016

Celebrate the Small Things-July 1, 2016


It's Friday!  Let's Celebrate the Small Things with Lexa Cain. Tonja Drecker and I are co-hosts.

We had a dramatic event this week.  On Wednesday, my husband was on his way to work when he got into a car accident.  He was on the interstate, and he went to change lanes.  He checked the mirror, but apparently there was a car in his blind spot.  He noticed in time to swerve and miss them, but he ended up going into the ditch doing at least 70 miles per hour.  Fortunately, he's sore but otherwise fine. The only damage to the car was the driver's side mirror, which is MIA. I'm definitely grateful, because it could have easily been so much worse.

I'm also celebrating the release of my latest novella, Self-Help 101 or: How to Survive a Bombardment With Minimal Injury, which came out on Tuesday of this week.  This novella has a 4th of July theme.  For more information and purchase links, click HERE.

Happy 4th of July to all of you in the United States.  Have a fun and safe weekend!


What would you like to celebrate?


Monday, November 9, 2015

Self-Help 101 Cover Reveal and Other News

I wanted to do something fun with this cover, and since the main character Dani spends a lot of time jotting down notes in a notebook, I knew I wanted to incorporate that somehow.  My husband helped me with this one, but the artwork is 100% mine.  I wanted to capture the feelings of doodles in a notebook, and I figured I could pull that off.  You can judge for yourself whether I succeeded or not.


Title: Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family
Author: L.G. Keltner
Genre: Holiday/Humor
Length: 27,000 words
Cover Art: L.G. Keltner
Release Date: December 1, 2015

Blurb:

Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start.  After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting.  She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.

Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season.  Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately.  Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it.  On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.

One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.


Bio:

L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband.  Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six.  Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good. 

Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.

You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.


Pre-Order Links:


Add it on Goodreads

Other News:

I also have a bit of news.  Thanks to a conversation with my husband, I've decided to turn this into a series.  You can now expect three more novellas to come over the course of the next year.  Each will correspond with a holiday.  The next one will take place during the 4th of July, so you can expect that to come out around May or June 2016.  I think the others will take place during Halloween and New Year's Eve.  That's the plan so far, anyway.  This story was just so fun to write, and I want to keep going with it.

That doesn't mean I won't keep working on the other writing projects, because I plan to.  It just means I'll be keeping busy, which is fine by me.

Also, I still have three dates open for my blog tour, so if anyone is willing and able to help me out.  The dates and topics for those days are:

Friday, December 4th: large meals
Tuesday, December 8th: Christmas trees
Wednesday, December 16th: mistletoe

Thanks to everyone who volunteered to help me out, and to everyone for simply taking the time to stop by!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day Love Stories

Source
Happy Valentine's Day!  I know this is my third post of the day.  What can I say? I have a lot to share today.

If you're here to check out my post for The Bloody Valentine Blog Hop, click HERE.  I promise you won't be sorry.  Well, maybe you will be.  If you enjoy being deeply disturbed, it's right up your alley.

If you came to Celebrate the Small Things with me, you can do that HERE.

Now that I've gotten through all that, I'll get to the point of this post.  Earlier this week, The Huffington Post asked for paragraph-long stories of how their readers met and fell in love with their special someone.  I submitted a paragraph about how I met and started dating my husband, and for some bizarre reason, my story was one of the lucky few selected for publication!  Anyone who would like to check it out, you can find the article HERE.  My story is the 9th one down. And don't worry, my name is written right underneath it, so you don't have to count if you don't want to.

I know it's small, but I love sharing this story with the world, and it's wonderful knowing that something I wrote is out there for the world to see.  I'm a writer, so I can hardly be faulted for enjoying that feeling.

Have a fantastic weekend!

The Bloody Valentine Blog Hop


Happy Valentine's Day!  Today I'm marking the occasion by participating in A.F. Stewart's The Bloody Valentine Blog Hop!  It's a hop to showcase love gone wrong.

I decided to write a piece of flash fiction.  It's definitely lacking the normal warm and fuzzy feelings that many people associate with this particular holiday.  I hope you enjoy it!



Until Death

Steph’s eyes traveled across the ceiling, noting the way the soft moonlight played across the hills and valleys in the plaster.  The digital display from the alarm clock cast a faint red hue over the bed, and Steph’s thoughts darkened when she was reminded of the time.

4 AM.

Nothing good can ever happen at 4 AM, she thought bitterly.

A faint gurgling sound disrupted the brief quiet, marking the beginning of another cycle of torment.  Steph glanced at the sleeping form beside her.  Martin’s mouth hung wide open in his slumber, a trail of drool leaking out of the corner of his mouth.  She suppressed a shudder as she surveyed the disgusting sight.

He used to be so handsome, so charming.  What the hell happened?

The answer to this question was, of course, obvious.  Once she had a wedding ring on her finger, his entire demeanor changed.  It wasn’t an immediate change.  Oh no.  It snuck up on her bit by bit.  He stopped complimenting the way she looked when they went out for date night.  Then their date nights became increasingly infrequent.

He forgot their anniversary.  I was so sure he’d remember my birthday at least, Steph thought as she clenched her hands together until her knuckles were as white as a skeleton.  What I didn’t anticipate was him remembering, only to buy me a waffle iron so I could have the great honor of cooking his breakfast.

The gurgling had grown much louder, rising like a wave about to break against the beach.  This fact was made more irritating by the fact that Martin always insisted that he didn’t snore.  Steph often wondered how he didn’t wake himself up with his cacophonous nocturnal nasal symphony.   

At the crescendo, Martin choked mid gurgle.  For one blessed moment, he was silent.  That was, until his breathing passage cleared once more, allowing the horrendous sounds to resume.

If he keeps it up, he’s eventually going to drown in his own fluids!

Steph pondered this for a moment.  For the life of her, she couldn’t remember why this would be an undesirable thing.

He complains about my cooking.  He insists I don’t clean thoroughly enough, but he won’t help me either.  He never tells me happy Valentine’s Day, let alone gets me a gift.

That woeful thought brought Steph’s eyes back to the table.  Beside the clock, bathed in red light, was the half-eaten bag of candy hearts.  She’d purchased them in the hopes that Martin would see them, and that he might think to make some kind of romantic gesture.  A small gift.  Or a compliment.  Anything would have done, really.

No.  Instead I get to lie here sleeplessly, listening to you snore and wait for the ‘until death do you part’ section of the vows to become a reality.

Rage began to burn in her veins.  I deserve better than this!  I wanted so much more out of life, and this is all I get?

The decision wasn’t a conscious one.  Before Steph knew what she was doing, the bag of candy hearts was in her hands, and she was straddling the sleeping form.  “Good night, sweetie,” she declared as she clamped one hand roughly over his nose.  The other hand tipped the bag so the little chalky candies poured into Martin’s gaping cavern of a mouth.

His eyes flew open immediately.

“Oh, so this is the way to wake you up,” Steph said thoughtfully, more to herself than anyone else.  “That’s good to know.”

The gurgling had turned into full on choking as the candy completely blocked his airway.  Candy hearts filled his mouth to the brink, spilling out everywhere, tumbling over his lips and onto the bedspread.  His nails raked at her wrists as she firmly held him in place, one hand atop his throat, the other still covering his nose.  Blood oozed out from beneath her fingers, indicating the she must have damaged his nose in her fervor.

Interesting.

His eyes bulged, both terrified and pleading, but this only fascinated her.  She hadn’t seen any kind of strong emotion from this man in a long time, and she fixated on his horrified expression with an almost childlike wonderment.

She continued to watch as his attempts to dislodge her grip weakened.  Then he ceased struggling altogether.  His eyes were still wide, but they no longer saw her.  They were vacant, even more vacant than they had been while he vegged out in front of a football game.

Steph sat back for a moment, looking down at the candy hearts that rested near Martin’s blue lips.  Smiling faintly, she selected two white ones (the kind Martin hated most of all) and went to the bedside table to get a pen.  A red pen.

On the blank side of each heart, she carefully wrote in her own little message.  When she was satisfied with her results, she placed a heart atop each lifeless iris.  The first read UNTIL DEATH, and the second completed the familiar phrase with DO US PART.

Steph sighed before collapsing back onto her side of the bed, hoping that she’d be able to fall asleep before dawn.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Express Yourself: Dishes to Share


The Express Yourself Weekly Meme is brought to you by Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests.

The question for this week is: When you attend a get-together, what are you likely to bring as a dish to share?

One thing I can never get enough of is chili cheese dip.  It turns ordinary tortilla chips into something amazing.  I usually make it by first preparing an ordinary batch of chili.  I use chili beans, ground beef, green peppers, onions, and chopped tomatoes.  I also sometimes use corn (though my husband doesn't like it that way).  As for seasoning, I use a secret weapon.  My dad discovered an amazing chili powder for sale at a local Indian restaurant.  That stuff sure packs a punch.  Once the chili is made, all you need to do is melt some Velveeta into it. Voila.  At the end, I have something so good I might accidentally overstuff myself on it before I notice any of the other dishes.

Another thing I like to make is homemade cookies.  Chocolate chip cookies are always a safe bet, but I also like to make peanut butter and oatmeal raisin cookies.

I might also bring deviled eggs.  I've experimented with some different ways of making them, and I've come up with some pretty good garlic deviled eggs, onion deviled eggs, and bacon deviled eggs.

Dang.  Now I'm hungry.

What dishes do you like to share?


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Express Yourself: Things I Look Forward To


The Express Yourself Weekly Meme is hosted by Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests.

The question for this week is: List something(s) you always look forward to this time of year.

I absolutely love drinking hot chocolate and hot cider this time of year.  It's a good way to warm up after a trek through the snow.  I also love eating some of my favorite winter foods, such as homemade chili and vegetable soup.

Another thing I look forward to is Christmas morning when I get to watch my kids open their gifts.  Their absolute excitement is contagious, and it makes me feel like a kid again.

I enjoy spending time with family and friends.  It can be stressful at times, but in the end, it's worth it.

And last, I look forward to New Years Eve.  I grew up with a family tradition of playing board games and eating snacks on New Years Eve.  Then at midnight, we'd watch the ball drop.  In my opinion, this is one of the best traditions ever! It's also neat to think of the promise of a new year.  It's a good time to reflect on what we want to pursue or change to make our lives more fulfilling.

Plus, champagne.  Or wine.  There is always some kind of alcohol consumed after the ball drops, and that's part of the fun.

What do you look forward to this time of year?


Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Insecure Writer's Support Group: December 2013


Wow.  Is it really the first Wednesday of the month already?  Time sure is slippery that way.

Anyway, it's time once again for the monthly meeting of the Insecure Writer's Support Group.  Our esteemed leader is none other than Alex J. Cavanaugh.  His minions for this month are Julie Flanders, Heather Gardner, Kim Van Sickler, and Elsie is Writing.

Also, feel free to swing by the IWSG website!

A quick note: The IWSG posting for January 2014 will be on January 8th.  Yes, that's the second Wednesday of next month, but since the first Wednesday is New Years Day, we may all be too busy recovering from our celebrations to post and visit one another.  Besides, ninjas need days off too.  Being stealthy isn't as easy as it appears.

Anyway, my insecurity this month has to do with goals.  Specifically, with such a busy month in which I will be celebrating Christmas and New Years (and shopping for these festive occasions), how should I set goals for myself?  If I set a daily goal, I may feel bad when I have a day where I simply can't get any writing done.  And let's face it, December is a month where that's bound to happen.  A weekly goal may be more doable.  Or perhaps a goal for the month as a whole will work best.  Then again, I may not feel motivated enough if I have a whole month to get it done, and by the time Christmas rolls around, I'll be kicking myself for not being more demanding of myself.

Or perhaps I shouldn't worry about it at all.  Maybe I should do what I can with my writing and not be too hard on myself this month.  After all, there's already going to be plenty of holiday stress as it is.

What do you think?  What are your writing  goals for this month?  How are they impacted by this busy time of year?  Do I sound crazy in my insecure ramblings?


Friday, November 1, 2013

Celebrate the Small Things-November 1, 2013


Hey, it's Friday!  That means it's once again time to Celebrate the Small Things with VikLit!

Overall, I've had a pretty fantastic week!  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I managed to carve a pretty elaborate pumpkin.  I was proud of the result, though it came at the expense of my poor, aching hands.  The amazing Alex J. Cavanaugh also featured my pumpkin in a post this week, so that really boosted my confidence.  Thanks for that!


My son Jude also got his first school pictures back this week, which reminds me of how quickly he's growing up.

Spooktoberfest rocked as well.  Jackie chose my piece "Subscribe" as a runner-up, which is always flattering.  The competition was full of fantastic stories, and I'm honored to be recognized.  You can find Jackie's list of winners HERE, and Dani's list of winners HERE.


I also found out that I won a free ebook from a giveaway done by the amazing Yolanda Renee.  Yay!  Thank you!

And lastly, I would like to celebrate the fact that we were able to take our kids trick-or-treating twice this week.  My husband had Wednesday night off work, so we took the kids out of town so he could join in on the experience.  Then on Halloween, I took my boys out by myself.  I'm amazed I survived it, but I did!  I also figured I'd show you a picture of them in their costumes.

Jude is the creepy skeleton, Lyle is in the middle as
Scooby Doo, and their cousin Asher is the gorilla.

What would you like to celebrate?


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

My Adventures in Pumpkin Carving

A quick note.  If you'd like to check out my post for the Game On Bloghop, click HERE!

So, I recall recently letting you all know that I intended to try my hand at a more complex pumpkin carving experience.  I did it, and three hours of hand crippling work later, I have my results.

I chose my pattern after stumbling across it HERE.  Yeah, I'm not a good enough artist to design one on my own, but the person who came up with this design is amazing.




Above you can see the beginnings of the pattern transfer, and the completion of it.  This part took forever.  Then afterwards, I actually had to carve.  That wasn't easy either, because there were so many delicate lines!  Sometimes I had no clue which part of the pattern I was working on, and this can be problematic.

Still, I persevered and managed to complete my gargantuan carving project.  It's not perfect.  I can certainly see errors in it, but I'm proud of the result nonetheless.


Even so, I'm not sure I'll be trying something this in depth again.  It's so time consuming!  Though a year down the road, I might change my mind.  We'll see.

Feel free to tell me what you think!


Monday, February 11, 2013

A Bitingly Good Week Ahead (Hopefully!)


After the busy and slightly odd week we had last week, I'm hoping my muse will treat me well this week.  I'm excited for Valentine's Day, though we have nothing fabulous planned.  When you have two kids, it can be difficult to celebrate holidays like that, but little gifts of chocolate or flowers are enough to brighten my day. (Hint to my husband.  Wink, wink. ;)

Valentine's Day is also the day of the Vampire Bite Blog Hop.  Quick, there's still time to join in on the fun!

So my plans for the week are to get back on track with writing.  I've gotten a little start on that goal already, and I look forward to getting more done!

What are your goals/aspirations for this week?  Do you have any special plans?

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas . . . Or Whatever Holiday You Celebrate!


Now that I have kids, I love Christmas more than ever!  They're so excited for Santa to come, and they're also happy that their daddy has time off work.  I thought I'd take the time to share a little of that Christmas happiness with you. I'm not a religious person.  That, however, does not diminish my enjoyment of this holiday.  I love the spirit of giving and peace.  I revel in the way people make an extra effort to be kind to one another this time of year. 

In the spirit of this time of year, I don't think we should be all that concerned with whether someone tells you Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays.  For me, it's about the fact that a complete stranger wished me well.  If only the world saw more of this kindness all year round.  I think we'd all be better off.


So, I'll say Merry Christmas now and finish this post!
Whatever you celebrate, I hope you make the most
of this time with your friends and family.
May your holiday be all you hoped it could be!

And, of course, I'll also leave you with another of my favorite Christmas songs.

Monday, December 24, 2012

A Muse Takes a Break


My muse won't be doing a lot of work over the next couple of days.  The Christmas holiday takes precedence over everything else for now.  We have family celebrations to attend, and other fun things to do.  My kids are so excited for Santa it's insane.  We've been keeping track of Santa through NORAD, which has turned into a fun family activity in and of itself.

Being the procrastinator that I am, I still haven't decided what to make for our Christmas Day meal.  I know, I know, most of the stores are closed, and the rest of the grocery stores are closing early.  Pleiades, if you're going to help me with anything this week, show up and give me a meal inspiration!

My husband is off work this week, so we'll have plenty of family time.  And once Christmas is over, I may be able to squeeze in some writing time.  My husband loves video games, so when he inevitably escapes to that fantasy world, I'll slip into my world of fiction.  I have a post scheduled for tomorrow to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, though I probably won't be anywhere near my computer for a majority of tomorrow.


I also wanted to mention that I was selected as a winner for David Powers King's Build Me a Blog Hop.  Thanks!  I'm excited to see my vision come to life, and I'm confident that Tara Tyler will do a fantastic job!  Congratulations to the other winners!  You all had great entries.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Express Yourself: Holiday Songs


It's time for another Express Yourself Weekly Meme post.  Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests provide great prompts each week

What are a few of your favorite holiday songs?

All in all, Christmas music isn't my favorite.  I don't like the idea of listening to it every day for an entire month before the actual holiday.  In general, I don't do much with music for any holiday, so I'm not picking on Christmas when I say this.

However, I do love Trans Siberian Orchestra.  Pretty much all of my favorite Christmas music comes from this group.  I love the big sound they produce.  I'm not sure how else to describe it.

This song, "Music Box Blues", features fantastic vocals and great sound.  Love it!



I also love it when Trans Siberian Orchestra teams up with Metallica.  How could that ever be wrong?  When I hear "Carol of the Bells" I am filled with awesomeness!



Now, here I'm going to admit something.  I have friends who might strangle me for admitting this.  I hope none of you will judge me badly for this.  In fact, many of you will probably be scratching your heads about why I'm prefacing this song in this way.  Don't worry, I'll explain why.

Here's "Christmas Canon."  There is also a rock version called "Christmas Canon Rock."



Okay.  In what is already a video-filled post, I'm not worried about posting one more.  The "Christmas Canon" is basically "Pachelbel's Canon in D" with a holiday twist to it.  Most of you have probably heard that one played at weddings, or in various other ways throughout the course of your life.  You can hardly escape it. A friend of mine in college grew to hate this song with a passion for that reason alone.  I don't have this strong hatred, though I learned many do.  And whether you like the music or not, this skit is hilarious and sums up my friend's position perfectly.  It's definitely worth a watch.  It actually has nothing to do with Christmas music, but I simply must share it.  That's all there is to it.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Blindsided Blog Tour Christmas Dress-Up Contest


Kyra Lennon is at it again with a fun, holiday-themed bloghop!  Hop on over to her page to sign up if you're interested.  You have until December 7th to get in on the action.  

Oh, you want to know the details before you sign up, eh?  Too chicken to sign up before seeing what you've gotten yourself into?  Fine.  I'll tell you.  Or, if you don't trust me, you can go to Kyra's post to hear it from her.  Plus, you can sign up right there while you're at it.

This one is a Christmas dress-up contest!  So, obviously as it's a dress-up contest, to participate you'll need to post a picture on your blog.  It doesn't matter how little or big you go, you need only be wearing something festive!  There are prizes too!

Prizes:
Most Creative - $20 Amazon Gift Card
Silliest - $15 Amazon Gift Card
Simple but Stylish - $10 Amazon Gift Card

There will also be two entrants drawn at random, who will both receive a paperback copy of Blindsided!

Now, here's my picture.


This was taken while we set up our Christmas tree this year.  Growing up we always used a real tree, but my husband prefers a fake tree, so that's what we have.  This tree is hollow on the inside, so I decided to be silly and climb in. Don't ask what possessed me to do it.  I promise no alcohol was involved in the decision, which actually makes it sound worse.  Essentially though, I'm wearing an entire Christmas tree in this photo, though it's zoomed in so you can actually see where I'm at.  Unfortunately, it was a tighter fit than I'd like to admit, and I itched like crazy afterwards.

And now there's photographic evidence of my insanity for all the world to see! Feel free to have a good laugh!  I know I'm laughing at myself right now.